The Three Stooges, Bile Nak Kawen? [Part 2]

I have 2 cousins, both sharing the same age, fate and marital status with me. That makes us the trio.

While witnessing ‘the vows‘, an older cousin (who’s married) squeezed his way to the front, right next to me.ย  He asked the forbidden question every single people hates,”Bile hang nak kawen?”

I took the rebuke with a smile.

“Takkan takde girlfriend kot?”

“Takde. Ex ramai la.”

“Awat? Hang tak laku ke?”

He was way out of line. I managed to keep cool, but that’s how things are in this family. We like poking into peoples’ business. Typical Penangites or shall I say ‘anak mumi’ (although we’re not).

I gazed deep into his eyes wearing a sad look on my face.

“Dah ketentuan Tuhan. Nak buat macam mane?”

He looked down in shame, knowing he went too far. He lifted his arm and patted my shoulder. “Sabar la eh”.

Hahaha. Yes! PWNED! Thanks to my theatrical talent I managed to brush him of my back. I seriously hope the effect would last long.

********

A few hours later, an uncle walked up to us while we were having our late teh tarik outside the house. “Ni hangpa awat tak kawen lagi?”

My two other cousins decided to answer by pointing at me, “Tunggu Ewin”. Like a fat kid eager for candy, my uncle turned and asked again, “Haaa bile?”

“Tunggu girlfriend 18 tahun. Tanak la consesus rape.” We laughed hysterically.

“Hangpa men-men no? Tak pa..” as he limps away with an injured pride. I clinched my fist, yes! PWNED!

ย ********

The key to winningย  this question is simple. Knock them off their socks in a polite manner. I’ve illustrated two possible ways, the soft and hard. Now it’s up to your imagination to reply. Best of luck!

ps: How did this turn into a tutorial?

pss: Where are you..? I think I’m missing you ๐Ÿ˜ณ

psss: Thanks for shooting the emotional commentator, tell me what I can do for you.

NoktahHitam

I am web developer, who's main concern is to save the trees. Nonetheless

This Post Has 70 Comments

  1. serious, tabik kat ko!

    * tutorial menarik ni. hahaa โžก ๐Ÿ˜†

  2. i klu org tanya bila nak kawen,
    i jawap esok.
    haha

  3. “Hang bila nak kawin? Tak reti lagi ka umoq dah meningkat tua….tadak oghang koi lama koi muda….”

  4. i have people asking me this Q all the time and most of the time, i stun them with this answer :

    “Jodoh tu kan keje Tuhan..knape kite susah-susah nak pikir?”

    and it works~~~ (only that i have other people plak tanye the same Q…haih)

    p/s : kawenla cepat eddie, i want to be the mak andam..kekeke

  5. Esok jugak I balik batu pahat. Kalau tak kawen, I nak minat rebate!

  6. Strangely now, koi lama, koi laju, koi kental, koi kaya, koi horny. Hahahhaa

  7. koi kaya is acceptable….but koi lama koi kental, koi laju? i dont think so….sprinters become slower bila makin tua for example….koi horny? no comment haha…

  8. You can’t let people walk all over your face bro. Kene stand up jugak!

  9. Nice, the soft method.

    Kenape la I nak kawen cepatยฒ. Cube relaxยฒ dulu. Byk lagi mende lain nak difikirkan ๐Ÿ˜›

  10. I used to use your answer before masa sebelum kawen…but some of the elders are actually smarter than we thought. They once answered me like this:

    “Yela jodoh tu keje Tuhan. Tapi kalau tak usaha, tak guna jugak….sama la macam doa mintak jadik kaya, tapi keje pemalas…”

    I thought my respond was good. His is actually better.

  11. Bro, I clocked faster than I was 17. Kental.. agak subjective. But figure aku, aku rase lagi kental la dari aku 17. Tak caye? jom arm wrestle! Kalah belanje Barbican Malt!

  12. Tu sbb kene ade facial expression. Supaye orang bersimpati ๐Ÿ˜›

  13. Earlier today at the hospital, my Nek Su asked me the godforsaken question. I went for Option 1 together with sad puppy dog eyes. She gave me the โ€œYela jodoh tu keje Tuhan. Tapi kalau tak usaha, tak guna jugakโ€ฆ.sama la macam doa mintak jadik kaya, tapi keje pemalasโ€ฆโ€ answer (or something along that line).

    Fortunate for me, my now recovered Opah came to the rescue. She said, “Yang ko nak sibuk2 nak suruh cucu aku kawin kenapa? Biar dia pikir nak sambung masters camner. Tak pun pikir career path macam mana.”

    Yess! Someone to back me up! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    The funny thing is, up until before I graduated last year, she was the one pushing me to get married. I have no idea why she changed her mind.

  14. Haha. Ari tu balik kampung pun kena tanya soalan bonush ni gak.

    Senang jer… I just jawab “Tak tahulah…takdir semua tu…”

    HUHU. My grandpa pun senyap dengar jawapan tu.

  15. respon aku: “Susah nk carik, budak laki ramai la kat sini, budak pompuan berapa kerat ja, pompuan bukan suka sgt amik program engineering nii, kalo kat UK nuuu kot la, budak medik ramai”

    hahaha..always work!

  16. hahahahaha ๐Ÿ˜€ jawapan terbaik! ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. pergh, ada counter attack rupanya, informative tutorial ni, need more2 hehe

    ps: Ed, u anak mami ah?

  18. my answer would be:

    tulah, dah nak kahwin la ni, duit dah ada, kain dah beli, semua dah ready.

    calon je taktau sapa.

  19. of course kene dengan muka convincing lah… diorg salu bengang…

    (tokok tambahla, dah booking dah, dah survey dah semua photographer semua)

  20. confuse!! ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
    why people always tot penangites , ‘anak mami’???
    erghh… juz hate it! :down:

  21. woww..impressed plak mendengar ade gak tempat ramai guys…ahahaha

  22. wor. really practical. i think i am going to face that sort of questions the next raya.

    either I already have one at that time, or I have to put this trick to good use.

  23. She was reserving the pun for herself. Orang lain tak bole hentam you, die je bole ๐Ÿ˜›

    ps: my grandma pon same dgn grandma you.

  24. Takdir, takdir la jugak. Ade usahe tak? ๐Ÿ™„

  25. Quote kawan mckk aku, “Ireland tu lubuk bini”. Lubuk, macam memancing plak ๐Ÿ˜›

  26. Generalization. Nak buat camne. Aku yg confirm bukan anak mami pon orang ckp aku anak mami.. lagi la cacat.

  27. hahah..nicely put…kesimpulannye mane2 tempat yg msia anta bdak med aa..
    owh NH..mmg sgt lubuk aa for u…
    lgpon most of the girls yg study overseas tend to be single..<–u can quote this as from me…

    if only i would fall in love with mat salleh..n it is reciprocal…ahhahah

  28. this is seriously a cool answer! better than NH’s. oops~

    * i can do a straight face, no sweat. huhu~

  29. But it’ll always back fire.

    “Ni anak pak cik leman ni, dah 32 tahun, tp tak kawenยฒ lagi. Nanti pak ngah tanye pakcik leman, kotยฒ anak die sudi”

    Tak pasalยฒ kene match make. Believe me, I’ve tried ๐Ÿ˜›

  30. lubuk? hahaha.. mcm terlampau byk smpai leh pilih2.best ar guys kat sana..leh jual mahal

  31. this is the best I’ve read so far of u. it took me a while to stop laughing ๐Ÿ™‚

    i thought i am still young (i am) but everybody keep asking this bonus Q. maybe because i was born with the status, ‘among the youngest cousin and single’.
    my answer probably lousy but it always ends with – 7 tahun lagi. no candidates and xde org nak. yeah, with that puppy eyes and sad look. konon boleh escape.

    i got good response later. “nak tolong carikan?”

    help?

  32. Macam haram! hahahaha. Yg penting kene gentlemen!

  33. Oh yeah, how old are you actually?

  34. 22. pretty young kan? ๐Ÿ˜›

  35. Eh, it’s about time you got the bonus question. Anyway, if people offer you guys, just take the offer. And if they did bring you someone, there’s always a word called rejection. Not to worry, usually they won’t ๐Ÿ˜›

  36. 22 is pretty young to own that Q. how old r u?
    my grandma tried matchmake me once. i ran. i thought i am okay with it but i’m scared to death over the idea. unlike you. PWNED! ๐Ÿ˜›

  37. bila setiap kali bulan percukaian datang, aku pun dpt soalan bonus ni, lebih2 lagi bila org tanya pasal rebate wife, relief utk wife, anak2..

    dan aku jawab yang aku kena tax sikit je.. kalau aku kena byk2 tax nanti, baru semua tu aku fikir balik.

    tapi, macam dah penat je jawab gitu.

    tahun ni, aku banyak senyum dari menjawab. huhu..

  38. wowowo. nice tutorial. hehe ๐Ÿ˜€

    btw, I pray my aunt will find her spouse someday. late already ๐Ÿ™

    i think it’s ok for a guy to find a wife even in 30-40’s but not the girl โ“ – i pray for you too. May Allah give you a good wife and cute children ๐Ÿ™‚

  39. usaha tentulah ada…
    kalau tak, takde la episod suka duka frust menonggeng nonggeng, dik… ๐Ÿ˜›

  40. Alaa you see the guy. Kalau ok, ok la. If not, there’s always me ๐Ÿ˜›

  41. Sebenarnye, senyum lagi kurang pedih nye. Dorg akan faham kite tak selese dgn soalan tu.

  42. Thanks dude! Appreciate your prayer!

  43. lebih baik faham sendiri.

  44. aku ade cincin kawen tipu. Bile orang tanye, aku tunjuk je. Tak yah ckp byk. Especially kalau client yg tanye.

  45. ok, idea yang bagus.
    :up:

  46. good idea. would take that into consideration. blogs matchmake ๐Ÿ˜€

  47. that’s the whole idea ๐Ÿ™‚

    takyah susah2 cari.. ngaha

  48. somehow i think it just didnt work that way…they (guys & girls) tend to look elsewhere..

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