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An Ode to the Nice Guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.

This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.

This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support.

This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door. For the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway. For the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters.

For the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends. For all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated. For all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.

This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.

Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever.

There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.

For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

ps: Thought I’d share this with every soul mate searchers.

pss: Originally published for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal.

By NoktahHitam

I am web developer, who's main concern is to save the trees. Nonetheless

65 replies on “An Ode to the Nice Guys”

those type of women, nak kawen baru cari nice guy kot 😛

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.

itu mcm selalu betul T_T

More appropriate for the hedonistic life of the West I think, where most nice guys and nice girls paths don’t meet all that often, all that soon (typically portrayed as such in movies).

I’d like to believe that in this part of the world, nice guys are at the top of the matchmaking game. (I’d like to think lah).

p.s. The Wharton link is giving me a 404 error page.

Eddie,

Wanita yang baik adalah untuk lelaki yang baik. Lelaki yang baik untuk wanita yang baik pula (begitu pula sebaliknya) (An Nuur : 26).

I’m sure u’ve heard of this before. =)

Awww, ain’t that sweet. A tribute to nice guys.

But ya know, i find that this actually applies to the other side of the coin as well (i.e nice girls are pretty much ignored too). Which begs the question, should people stop being nice?

girls are hard to understand..sometimes the guys too. all we can do is live with them and accept them as they are. but when the boiling point reached, you just need to do whatever you have to do.

cheers NH ! mmg best baca cite ko pagi2 isnin ni.

ps: buatkan aku teringat apa yang aku pernah buat dahulu. used to be that kind of guys but i found that i was too stupid letting those girls took advantage on my kindness.

babe, not everyone looks for bad boys. 🙂

especially those who know what they want. the problem with those who ended up with bad boys are those who didn’t know what they want, hence they went through an elimination process until their list of criterias built up.

it’s a natural behaviour i believe. i’m sure men do too.

I believe people should be nice to a certain extent. Buat baik berpada-pada, bukankah?

Being a nice person is simply being civilized. Being too nice is, well… being stupid. Too much of anything is just as bad as having nothing of it. And that’s why, boys and girls, ‘safe’ people are boring as rude people are annoying. Have some backbone, please.

Don’t let yourself become the victim and then complain about it. Because if you do, then hands down, you’re the loser. (And of course I don’t mean you, I mean the masses of nice guys/girls in general).

I’ll stick too being nice even though you think it’s stupid & a loser.

Buat baik berpada-pada? This is the why melayu takkan maju. Bile accident, stop utk tgk SAHAJE, sbb baik kene berpada2. Jgn habiskan credit call police & ambulance, sbb baik ade batas nye.

Please re-read the comment above and read between the lines. I meant being overly nice is never a good thing (unless you’re sucking up like some kind of politician), and this is the reason people get trampled on.

Buat baik berpada-pada, bersederhana kan amalan Islam. Betul, utamakan kepentingan orang lain, tapi janganlah buat baik sehingga diri sendiri tertindas. Contohnya, pinjamkan duit kat orang sampai kita tinggal sehelai sepinggang dek kerana baik hati bebenor.

That example with the accident thingy.. I don’t get it. Bila accident tapi takde orang nak tolong, bukankah itu tidak bertamadun dan tidak berperikemanusiaan? Itu bukan buat baik berpada-pada, itu tak buat baik langsung. Lagipun En NH, telefon polis & ambulans rasenye tidak memerlukan kredit. Emergency calls are free.

Perlukan credit. I’ve tried once when I ran into a motorcyclist. Instead, I had to wave other cars and borrow their hp.

Nope. Being nice know no boundary for me, it’s only a matter of discretion.

ps: Sorry if I sound rude, I was being overly enthusiastic.

Read this one before. Truly a tribute to the nice guys whom I believe are still exists, as well as the nice girls. Everyone is nice, in their own way. I may not be nice to you but others, and vice versa. So… I don’t think being overly nice is an issue, neither it was a stupid act. It is just how well you are dealing with yourself at the end of the day.

A toast to every single soul out there who consider themselves as a nice person. Have a nice day!

Sekarang dah tau lah bahawa En NH adalah seorang yang baik hati :up: It’s no prob, I understand where you’re coming from. I apologize myself if anything I said, er, ruffled any feathers. Its just what I believe in.

I’ll just continue wondering if you are, indeed, one of the unsung heroes in the blog post above.

Saya kenal sorang kawan yang sangat la baiknye pada semua orang, even to his ex-haters. Dan bila ditanya, dia jawab: “Suatu hari nanti, mana tau kita lak perlukan dia”.

Ingat kan kisah Nabi dengan seorang tua yahudi yang memaki Nabi sehari-hari, tapi Nabi tetap datang dan memyuapkan yahudi ini dengan makanan. Nabi tak pernah mengharapkan apa-apa, kan? Nabi was being too nice, but he’s certainly not stupid. Ya, kita bukan Nabi. Sebab tu la kita harus berusaha ke arah sunnah baginda.

Safe people are boring? Might be. There won’t be the one who’s cool enough to walk with you to class, but trust me, they will be the one you’ll look for when you are in need.

I wish, I could be one of these ‘boring’, overly nice people, you know.

NH: Defensive, yes. I believe in standing up for oneself. And I also like to counter-attack, but this is what they say your party, so better not be too brash ya 😉

MK: Wow, looks like I hit a sensitive spot 🙄 Sorry if I offended any of you. Siapalah saya berbanding dengan Rasulullah s.a.w. Does this mean I’m not a nice person? Lol. Again, please, feel free to read between the lines. I was only responding as to why nice guys are usually left behind in volatile, men-women relationships.

Wallahu’alam.

bad boys tau layan perempuan.. good boys cepat bored you cus diorang tak happening.. so your days akan jadi boring dan tak interesting.. worse, bila you tak ada best memories throughout your relationship. i have lotsa friends yg date good boy(s) .. mula2 rs selamat (konon) but at the end, gerenti complain boring…

btw, i learned something akhir2 nie, bad boy isnt really a bad boy… and kita tak dapat guarantee one tu akan stay good selama2nya.. manusia diuji.. and ppl change.. i dah banyak perhatikan..

i prefer to call this entry suits for both genders. but i personally wonder why those girls let go of those nice guys? oh please. the world is getting lack of them. we should not waste the chance, girls. if i could find 1 with those criteria, i’ll never let him go. i believe that i am NOT perfect therefore i DO want someone who is better than me to complete me.

i give credit to nice guy ape.. just sometimes they don’t make the first move.. very frustrating hehehe

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