Wrapped in Worries but Optimistic

I have always loved web development and I’m sure I’ve repeated myself over and over again. But a great opportunity landed at my doorstep and I’ve been contemplating for weeks, if not months about this.

In case you don’t know, I will be quiting my web development business and joining a stable structure. Why the jump?

When I was an engineer, I’ve always believed that my capabilities were beyond this. I strongly believed I was destined for something bigger. Something that’ll allow me to break all hell loose, a puppet master, a master mind, anything bigger than engineer. Unfortunately, I was naive. I quit the practice and capitalize on my hobby. Though it was a step down, I was happy.

My monthly earnings was at par with my loans. In truth, I break even, almost every single month. I knew it there and then, I should’ve listened to my old man. But I held my chin high, cloaked with ego, I walked the path of a mad man. I lost a lot in my first year, thanks to shady PA’s deals.

The second year landed me a few great jobs. Although it was sub-con to me, I liked it a lot. Long story short, this big jobs did not pay off. The companies rolled it’s carpet before I could fetch my fat check. There goes a few wasted months. My debt grew bigger. I was unable to cope with my installments. Thankfully, through a couple of small jobs, I managed to salvage and scrapped through the year. I even had to let go a dear friend/partner as I was unable pay for his upkeep. Business was tough.

The next year was no different than the first two except, I got 15-30 RFQs per month. Which means, more leads, more quotation and boatloads of opportunity. Sadly, I could not convert all of them to customers. I’d be a sleepless hollow if I did. Business was tough and worrying, but I had my passion to help me wash away my battle wounds. Often I find myself asking for short loans from best buds, just in case I can’t make the month’s installments.

Telling people that you’re web developer doesn’t actually land you a good footing, what more a nocturnal being. Some perceived me as a freeloader, slowly munching through my parent’s wallet. No matter what the perception was, it was rarely pretty. It wasn’t also easy to toughen up and leaped through rings of fire. Again, I was happy.

But what is happiness without money? Can I buy a shelter? Will any father let me marry their daughter? All I wanted was to build websites, have a sustainable income and marry someone sweet, without her sharing my burden. (I never liked the idea of people worrying about me.) To my dismay, the game plan was far off than what I had in mind. Time to roll out a new strategy.

Despite the hurdles, ups and downs, I gained a very valuable distinctive trait. I was able to empathize a business’s needs and concerns, and find a workaround to every problem. It was because of this powerful trait, I believed I was head hunted.

I have to admit, I am worried about the new job. I have no idea what I’ll be doing, where will I be seated, what tools are given, do I bring my own pens nor where is the toilet. Nada nothing. I do however feel a little optimistic. And I’m dead sure I’ll have fun with the new sets of challenge.

So Eddie, before anyone, allow me to wish, thank you for being a responsible adult.

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NoktahHitam

I am web developer, who's main concern is to save the trees. Nonetheless

39 thoughts on “Wrapped in Worries but Optimistic”

  1. susah sangat u kawen dengan i je la eddie :”>

    i personally think that you’re great at what you’re doing
    but bisnes mmg tough kan?

  2. hahaha kt bpahat ada org tu jual tempe je
    tp kaya siot, pkai kete canggih2
    hehe

    u’ll pass?
    jgn la rejek i terang2
    malu la i :”>
    hahha

  3. wow.. congrats bro~
    live your life which you think is right for you..
    believing in urself when everyone dismay you was quite remarkable! I salute you!

  4. maybe is your destiny to be like this ..
    just do your best bro .. and be happy with whatever decision that you do ..

    3rd paragraph from last makes me kinda worry about myself .. T_T *tetibe rasa tempias*

  5. Yeah, life is full of worries. But getting worried normally encourages us to do more and more. Being a web developer is nice but maybe you can have other bigger job – main saham, maybe?

    I pray for your happiness, Eddie 🙂

  6. main saham bukan bigger ke? hoho (teringin nak main saham)

    nice. smash them to bits! but sometimes you have to defeat them in one piece. hoyeah.

  7. bro … if you strongly believe you’re making the right decision for you in the right way, then go ahead without hesitation. But sometimes people tend to do the right things for a wrong reason… then something will hunt you back. This is common. Whether we aware or not (inlucding me lah also) 🙂

  8. There are 2 types of people, optimist and pessimist, I am both. Whether a decision is good or bad, of course you are obligated to fear the outcome. Best example, solat. It’s a good deed, but how sure are you your solat is accepted? Nobody knows except god Himself. Fear is what humans do, that’s why need faith.

    “Without hesitation” to me can only be used on short-term decisions. E.g. brake when you see red light. For long term, you best sit back, think and plan ahead before any thing crumbles.

  9. kekadang kalau x cuba new job tak tahu kan
    pengalaman paling penting. else x de la aku choose to work in a very risky environ kan….
    good luck!

  10. takdehal punya. Ko ada ‘something’ yang berbeza. Takdehal untuk struggle. Cuma, kita kena percaya diri sendiri la. Cam rajagopal cakap. haha..

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