• NH and friends NoktahHitam is my alter ego. I am a nocturnal Web Developer at Laman7. Part time innovator, full time procrastinator.

  • “Read, and you will be well read.”- No Idea

When You Have To Go, You Have To Go (II)

It was late. I couldn’t stall this any longer.

I drove as quickly as I could. Ran thru every bumper I see and overtaking when necessary. It was at one junction, I sped just to catch the yellow light.

A blue beacon tailgated me and signaled me to pull over. It was the police.

Police Man: Assalamualaikum. Lesen memandu?
NoktahHitam: Wasalam, Nah.

I gave him my driving license without hesitation.

Police Man: Awak tahu kesalahan awak?
NoktahHitam: Saya speed masa lampu kuning.
Police Man: Tahu pon. Sepatutnya awak berhenti.
NoktaHitam: Baik tuan.
Police Man: Kenape muka awak pucat? Baru lepas rompak bank ke?
NoktahHitam: Tuan, saya nak tercirit.

The policeman handed me my license and signaled me to go. Lucky he wasn’t anal. Else, I would’ve spurt my toxic waste all over Jenny. I never thought diarrhea could save me. I should try that again someday.

To that policeman, thanks!

ps: Eddie, complete the WP Theme for Earth Hour ASAP!

pss: The first version of this post

Written on 9 March '09 under Food & Outing, Serious Matters
 

There are 70 Comments for “When You Have To Go, You Have To Go (II)”

yeay! nnti bole ah aku ckp cmtu bile kene tahan ngan abg polis. cirit baru die percaye kot? kalau ckp nak buang air besar susah nak caye aku rase. haha. :razz:

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Tapi muke kene pucat la. Baru die percaya.

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takenaga wrote on March 9, 2009 #1

err..diarea was the reason?? :cry:

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Yeah, somehow he let me slipped through. But it’s really an offense (under any penal code) to speed during yellow light (usually I stop).

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inah replied #1

i did that all the time..i mean the speeding during yellow light :roll:

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Tyra replied #1

huh… what sort of ‘any’ Penal Code?
I thought it’s either under the Akta Pengangkutan Jalan 1987 or under the traffic regulations…

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Look it up. You can’t be sued if you sped on yellow lights.


Tyra replied #1

OUR penal code did not cover offence in regards to speeding during yellow lights… i think its under some sort of road or traffic regulations. u cant be sued of course, but u can get summons… subject to the police officer in charge I guess. :grin:


inah wrote on March 9, 2009 #2

hahaha one of the very few days where diarrheoa can indeed come in handy afterall eh?

p/s: u must have felt horrible eh. I remember last time i had IBS, and i was stuck in traffic for 2 hours ok! gile horror rase cam nak nangis :mrgreen:

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NoktahHitam replied #1

It was horrible! I squirmed a few dozen times when the cops pull me over

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lyana wrote on March 9, 2009 #3

This is funny! I can just imagine your expression at that time ….

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melbie wrote on March 9, 2009 #4

ahahah mujo policeman tuh takde blog
kalo tak sure dia blog pasal ko plak… hehe

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NoktahHitam replied #1

HAHAHA. Bahaya betul tu!

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takenaga replied #1

ntah ntah dah publish da pon?!
bek kau gi google ‘lelaki bagi alasan cirit nak lari kene saman’ NH.
haha.
:razz:

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KNizam wrote on March 9, 2009 #5

arrkk.. reason camtu pn bleh lepas ke? huh.. bleh try ni.. ko langgar lampu kuning, aku nk langgar lampu merah.. hahaha.. :lol:

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anarm wrote on March 9, 2009 #6

woa!!! watta funny moment bro!!
if i’m da police… “kalau u nak terberak or tercirit right here right now…i don care, saman is saman…haha!!
btw….. u don have the cirit anymore rite??!
where r u now…in the toilet??!
haha!!! that was funny…realy

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cj wrote on March 9, 2009 #7

for sure, muke ketat punya la masa polis tu tahan. haha. siyan kamu. :smile:

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Muke macam taruk 5 layer makeup!

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abdusfauzi wrote on March 10, 2009 #8

hoho. that’s an an event. but it becomes skill :smile:

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alone wrote on March 10, 2009 #9

mmwokayyy!
alasan yg ckup munasabah.
bagus kamu ni eddy :grin:

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Sy tak bagus, sy AWESOME.

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azi wrote on March 10, 2009 #10

pengakuan yang jujur.. bagus sekali.. :up: hehe…

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Jujur la baru best. Tak main sorok2 thoughts

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nono wrote on March 10, 2009 #11

hahaha..

comel gile alasan kau.

aku nk pinjam la, kalau kena tahan polis, kot la.

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Kalau polis tahan ko, ko cakap ko nak beranak. Confirm die caye. HAHAHAHA

ps: Lawak kasar :P

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cik simpankira replied #1

HAHAHA.

takpe, gue kool je org buat lawak kasar dgn gue.

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cik simpankira wrote on March 10, 2009 #12

Idea yang menarik, tapi kena buat muka pucat tu yang sedikit sukar tuuu… :mrgreen:

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ImamKhalid wrote on March 10, 2009 #13

new earth hour theme..!! cool.. sejuk mata memandang.. btw.. sediakan bedak banyak2 dalam kereta.. kalau ada polis datang, pakai je bedak tu kasi pucat muka.. haha..

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NoktahHitam replied #1

temporary je. Sementara nak siapkan.

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nikillas wrote on March 10, 2009 #14

dude,
what a theme… so deym beautiful.

ps: remove the white background & replace it with galaxy background. much better i think…

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Will try later ;)

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Syam wrote on March 10, 2009 #15

nice themes la bro… :up:

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NoktahHitam replied #1

It’s available to download :)

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zaki wrote on March 10, 2009 #16

haha..ni memang berkesan kalau polis tuh agak baik hati n considerate..kalau spesies nak berkeras..dia akan tanya apasal tak stop dekat stesen minyak je? :neutral:

theme baru nampak??

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NoktahHitam replied #1

aku buat utk earth day. Soon tukar balik

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|1f34|-|1r3 replied #1

giler super rajin !

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|1f34|-|1r3 wrote on March 10, 2009 #17

aku tahu, ini semua ajaran ajaran yang pernah kau terima satu malam yang dulu. waktu bintang bintang di langit terhalang dek awan, waktu itu juga,

“fect, saya nak tercirit.”

dan sungguh sungguh. memang fect itu membenarkan dia pergi ke tandas. seperti juga sang polis yang membenarkan kau pergi. melepaskan hajat.

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Kalau cite kt orang ni, mesti byk gile soalan orang tanye.

kenape berkumpul tgh malam?
kenape kene dende plak?
ape salah sampai kene dende?
ape lagi kene buat?

Lawak ini utk gol tertentu je. Hahaha

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medea wrote on March 10, 2009 #18

eddie ni asek nak berak jek
no wonder la klu u borak dgn i, u borak dlm jamban
hahahha :arrow:

ps: i like the old theme more than d new one la :razz:

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NoktahHitam replied #1

abes earth day nanti, masuk balik condom lame.

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Syam replied #1

eddie dapat ‘pencerahan agung’ dalam jamban. tu yang tukau theme baru ni soot.

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NoktahHitam replied #1

jamban adalah sacred pade aku :arrow:

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soot wrote on March 10, 2009 #19

heheh..saved by the “bell” eh..kawan saya pernah potong Q yang panjang masa balik dari Kelantan menghala KL pun pernah terlepas dari polis dengan alasan yang sama..tapi dia menipu lah.antara alasan lain yang mungkin boleh melepaskan diri kamu semua ialah:

1. Anda adalah wakil syarikat pembekal tayar motor peronda polis dan anda dalam perjalanan utk berjumpa dengan wakil polis bincang soal tender(kisah benar juga oleh kawan saya)
2. Anda belum solat dan waktu dah nak habis(pun kisah benar)
3. Anda ada logo kerajaan,BAR council,logo polis,logo2 yang berkpentingan,stciker universiti anda atau sekolah lama anda tidak diambilkira.

anyway rasanya kalau mau nampak muka pucat tu just tanamkan rasa gerun pada encik polis tersebut.hehe..next time kamu semua kena tahan polis..sila lah keluar dari kereta atau turun dari motorsikal atau basikal anda sebab mereka kata anda lebih menghormati mereka dan itu sudah menurunkan 50% peluang daripada disaman kaw kaw.

sorry bro..panjang la plak komen gua.nice background ^.^

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Langgar lampu kuning mane bole kene saman bro. Tade penal code. Even kalau ko langgar orang kat lintasan Zebra pon, ko takleh kene saman (kt court). Kene saman dgn polis je.

Byk taktik nak tipu Abg Pol. Takkan aku nak ajar kot?

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tasuke wrote on March 10, 2009 #20

seriously, tergelak masa mula2 baca. ingatkan buat lawak ke apa. rupa2nya betul2 nak tercirit. huhu. kesian kamu. yang pakcik polis tu pun, ada ke spot baru lepas rompak bank. hahaha.

p/s-ingatkan masuk blog angkasawan mana tah tadi. i prefer rumah hantu lagi :razz:

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Rumah hantu lepas April nanti diya. Ni tgh siapkan theme ni.

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diya wrote on March 10, 2009 #21

mesti polis tuh tgk muka Eddie lawak gile an time tuh.
pastuh lps Eddie pecut dia suka sorang sorang.
:lol: :lol:
chantek nye theme~

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NoktahHitam replied #1

kalau tanye die sendiri, tah tah abg polis tu pon pernah tercirit dalam kete ronda die.

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Fawwaz wrote on March 10, 2009 #22

shit sells…YEAH! :smile:

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bonggo wrote on March 10, 2009 #23

I like this background!! Cantik!

Alasan yg munasabah..and nasib baik polis tu percaya kan… Hmm…bleh cilok this idea next time around. :)

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Kalau muke dah pucat, cold sweat plak tu, confirm die bagi lepas. Kene la human skit

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zara wrote on March 10, 2009 #24

lucky you x kena bebel ngan polis.

ingatkan salah blog td, dah lain sgt warnanya.

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Kalau kene bebel, selambe ‘lepaskan’. Bile bau busuk nanti, pakse polis tu cuci kete. Kalau tak, saman balik polis tu kt court :twisted:

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buzzybug wrote on March 10, 2009 #25

hahaha..this is a funny story.. :grin:
hmm..mesti en. Polisi pikir dua ataupun dua puluh kali nak saman en. NH…

anyways..cool background..but i somehow prefer the old ones compared to this..

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NoktahHitam replied #1

The old one will be back after on 1st April. This is just temporary ;)

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Irdzra replied #1

cool..because the current theme doesn’t resembles en. NH that i know off..(to me laaa kann..that is thru my readings from ur post..)

hehe :grin:

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Irdzra wrote on March 10, 2009 #26

Aiks! Sorry to hear about that. Being a person fraught with stomach problems (sensitive tummy, that’s what people say), I can completely understand how horrible it feels to have the urge to immediately relief yourself during a diarrhea episode. Must have sucked!

Luckily the police officer is very nice :lol: haha I like the allegory he used for the pale face of yours. LOL!

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teddY wrote on March 11, 2009 #27

Inilah alasan yang sama aku guna waktu kena tahan polis dulu, tp masa tu mmg betul kritikal nak ‘unk unk’ :razz:

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haritz wrote on March 11, 2009 #28

If I were you, I would fart silently and let him smell.

Bukti!

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Ehem.. How can you fart when you’re having diarrhea? You either hold or push, no fart. Else risk cleaning up your mess :smile:

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Zubaidah Arshad replied #1

Nope! See, you got the concept wrong. Usually, on the brink of messing up your pants, a pocket of air still ada dekat hujung hujung tu.

That air actually deadly silent killer.

Can spin your head for two nights straight.

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Woaaa. Unlike you (female), I can’t control my rectum passage just slight to puff some air. or Maybe, I’m not as talented as you.

I won’t take my chances. Too futile to try.

ps: Why are we discussing rectum opening? Gosh, youre fun to talk to.


mlle linie replied #1

fart can be mistaken for shat u know… masa kekecik terigt peristiwa tu.. confident je fart skali…. heheh


Zubaidah Arshad wrote on March 11, 2009 #29

guess u got ur lucky break huh!

uve proven to me that diarrhea can be a blessing in disguise. tehehe. =)

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Girls can use the PMS excuse. Often get away easily ;)

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mlle linie replied #1

haha. that too, i know :)

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mlle linie wrote on March 11, 2009 #30

Selalu nak terberak jer ko ni.. :grin:

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NoktahHitam replied #1

Cerite Tahi lagi best dari politic. HAHAHA

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bongkersz wrote on March 12, 2009 #31

haha~ mmg dahsyat punye reason. I might wanna give a try later on. haha

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danielhaiqal wrote on March 13, 2009 #32

strangely enough… that is actually the second most popular reasons when i asked my relatives around about what would they say when abang polis stopped you in the middle of the highway.

i brought this topic up during my get together with my cousins and most of them say that they used to use the excuse being in a hurry to pee or going number two and frankly enough they managed to escape.

guess the abang polis are human after all. hehe…

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shandye wrote on March 22, 2009 #33

Leave a comment, I won't bite ;)

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