The Three Stooges, Bile Nak Kawen? [Part 2]

I have 2 cousins, both sharing the same age, fate and marital status with me. That makes us the trio.

While witnessing ‘the vows‘, an older cousin (who’s married) squeezed his way to the front, right next to me.  He asked the forbidden question every single people hates,”Bile hang nak kawen?”

I took the rebuke with a smile.

“Takkan takde girlfriend kot?”

“Takde. Ex ramai la.”

“Awat? Hang tak laku ke?”

He was way out of line. I managed to keep cool, but that’s how things are in this family. We like poking into peoples’ business. Typical Penangites or shall I say ‘anak mumi’ (although we’re not).

I gazed deep into his eyes wearing a sad look on my face.

“Dah ketentuan Tuhan. Nak buat macam mane?”

He looked down in shame, knowing he went too far. He lifted his arm and patted my shoulder. “Sabar la eh”.

Hahaha. Yes! PWNED! Thanks to my theatrical talent I managed to brush him of my back. I seriously hope the effect would last long.

********

A few hours later, an uncle walked up to us while we were having our late teh tarik outside the house. “Ni hangpa awat tak kawen lagi?”

My two other cousins decided to answer by pointing at me, “Tunggu Ewin”. Like a fat kid eager for candy, my uncle turned and asked again, “Haaa bile?”

“Tunggu girlfriend 18 tahun. Tanak la consesus rape.” We laughed hysterically.

“Hangpa men-men no? Tak pa..” as he limps away with an injured pride. I clinched my fist, yes! PWNED!

 ********

The key to winning  this question is simple. Knock them off their socks in a polite manner. I’ve illustrated two possible ways, the soft and hard. Now it’s up to your imagination to reply. Best of luck!

ps: How did this turn into a tutorial?

pss: Where are you..? I think I’m missing you 😳

psss: Thanks for shooting the emotional commentator, tell me what I can do for you.

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NoktahHitam

I am web developer, who's main concern is to save the trees. Nonetheless

70 thoughts on “The Three Stooges, Bile Nak Kawen? [Part 2]”

  1. ¿nʞɐ ʞıuʞǝʇ ʞɐʇ ʞo

    “˙ɥɐp uıʍɥɐʞ ɥǝloq ɥɐp ʞosǝ ¡ɐɥ ˙nqıɹ ɥnlndǝs ɐpɐ nʞɐ ‘ɐʎuɐʇ ƃuɐʎ ƃuɐɹo nqıɹǝs ɐpɐ nɐlɐʞ ‘ıpɐɾ ˙ʇıƃƃuıɹ ɥolodǝs ʞɐʇuıɯ uɐʞɐ nʞɐ ‘uıʍɥɐʞ ʞɐu ɐlıq nʞɐ ɐʎuɐʇ ƃuɐʎ ɐdɐısǝs ‘ısnlosǝɹ nʇɐs ʇɐnq ɐpɐ nʞɐ” ‘dɐʞɐɔ uɐʞɐ nʞɐ

    “¿uıʍɥɐʞ ʞɐu ɐlıq” nʞɐ ʇɐʞ ɐʎuɐʇ ƃuɐɹo ɐlıq nlnp

  2. usually i just say, ‘kalau boleh esok pun saya nak tapi nak buat macam mana belum jumpa lagi.’ sometime it ends there, but sometime it goes on to things like ‘belum ada boyfriend ke? kenapa putus? kenapa? kenapa? kenapa? bila?’. haih…

    speaking of anak mami…

    people tend to give me confused look when i say that i’m from penang, because they do expect that orang penang should look a certain way. then i have to take the pain of explaining that i’m not really from penang, blabla. habis kena explain salasilah keluarga. haha. but most of the time i just smile and say, ‘ tak tahulah macam mana boleh jadi rupa macam ni.’ 🙂

  3. technically anak mami, physically daeng parani…

    kalau mak sendiri yang counter attack, ekspresi muka does not really help.

  4. My mom is from Penang. Both my grand dad are Javanese. That makes me a pure breed.

    If you really want to blame someone for thinking you’re anak mami, you should blame Razak Maiden (?). He started the “Anak Mami” thingy.

  5. ko dah lupa kehebatan balingan bola bowling aku? tu baru mukadimah tu….belum full throttle lagi…

  6. Ladies get that question way earlier than the gents… Not to be offensive, but our Malaysian culture, especially Malays, have put an ‘expiry date’ tags on girls…

    And Miss Aisyah, Architecture killed me once!

  7. Skis, you have to know. I did not participate in javelin nor shot put, because a contestant could only enter 3 events although there’s a possibility of me winning, strength related event. I hand picked you for koleq squad, remember? (I had 100m, 200m, 4x100m events).

    Besides, Zaid Waq could do 53 push ups in a minute. I did 71. And I’ve won against him many times. Still feel you’re that superior? Think again you snot!

    HehaHAHAHAHA (gelak gaye joker)

    Amcam? Blagak tak? Riak tak? Tak yah mukadimah, kite bertanding je 🙂

  8. Ehh.. selambe ko takutkan AR.

    Yeah, Malay have their own ‘funny’ ways of setting things. That’s why I prefer to be Javanese 😯 🙂 😀

  9. Women have to get married early because the later we get married, the higher the risk for complications in pregnancy, birth for both mother & baby..

    Anyway, while studying for my exam today I just discovered that paternal age also increase risk of miscarriage!

    Yayy!!from now on, I’ll put an expiry date for men too..

  10. That’s rather judgemental, don’t you think? To put expiry date on men. I don’t think any of my reader would argue nor make fun of ‘andartu’. If they did, you have my word. I’ll whack their brains out.

    Moon, as person who’s overly exposed to western civilization, you should know better than to think like that.

  11. Haha..that was a joke NH..don’t take that seriously!

    but I personally think that having babies when you’re young should be encouraged..

    although, I do believe in women making choices for themselves!

  12. Noted cik Moon!

    It’s in words. I wouldn’t know the tone you struck when you said that.

    Having babies when young, sgt² digalakkan. I am ready to become a father, a husband, maybe nanti² la.

    Quote: Senang lagi jaga anak sendiri bile kite ayah, daripada jaga anak orang bile jadi laki orang.

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