The ESP Story, Mercedes C240

It was getting dark, dad asked me to substitute him.

No matter how I positioned my bum, I could never get it right. I start to ponder whether it’s my height that got me feeling awkward or maybe because it’s a new car and the seat feels like the waiting lobby, hard and uncomfy.

I took off. Like it’s brothers and sisters, it’s built with cruise control. I had to switch it on because I couldn’t get the car to respond to my maneuver. So a-boring-110km-drive it was.

I texted Bong (1,000 km away), asked him to wiki ESP.

I was still uncertain about the technology, although Bong replied with lengthy explanation. I left the ESP on, since it’s best thing to do and I certainly don’t want to crash dad’s new mistress. It was the most tiresome drive back kampung ever.

ESP is short for Electronic Stability Programme, a computer that prevents me from skidding. In other words, it brakes each wheel individually, avoiding understeer or oversteer. Ultimately, keeps me on my toes.

The other feature that bothers me was the Artificial Intelligence that’s constantly learning my driving pattern. How I exit corners, how I’d drive in the rain, do I swerve left to right, everything related to the driver, it computes.

Few days ago, we took the new girl back to Penang. I was already shaking my head, I still prefer the old lady B or Jenny. You know dad, his decision is final.

30 minutes of driving, I felt like banging my head on the steering. Either I was too smart for the computer or too weird, whichever does not leave me with the upper hand. I tried learning the computer, and likewise, we failed to click.

I glanced at the rear view mirror, good, mom and dad is fast asleep. Time to scratch that itchy hand, so I switched off the ESP.

Next thing I know, I’m doing 160kmh effortlessly.

For a speed junky, 160kmh is the normal cruising speed. It’s been 8 years, certainly an evening tea for me. You say, I’m reckless but I assure you, I only break speed limit not driving ethics. If my pessimistic dad can vouch my skills, you should too.

I can now gleefully pet C, the C240 2-doors girl.

ps: I still think C is a waste. What to do, it’s dad’s tab. Not mine.

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NoktahHitam

I am web developer, who's main concern is to save the trees. Nonetheless

19 thoughts on “The ESP Story, Mercedes C240”

  1. I vouch for NH’s driving skills! Riding in his babe along Jalan Ampang during peak hour before.

    Ehe, should off that stupid ESP the 1st time you rode the C. ESP only for lousy drivers.. to help them driving ‘safely’.

  2. apa yang terjadi pada pak mentua aku adalah ESP tidak ditutup pada waktu hujan. dan jalan berlopak dengan air. kereta hilang kawalan dan akhirnya terbabas ke longkang. berputar 5 kali. dan akhirnya semua selamat dengan kecederaan ringan. (kalau nak dibandingkan dengan kereta yang hancur la)

  3. wah continenal car! superb! it’s doesn’t mean BMW the good one right? wahaha.

    good car, more safety co’z of the ESP but not for the ‘kaki pepah’ hehe.

  4. mcm penah dengar ESP ni.. yang kalu nak eksiden, dia tolong handling jugak tu ek?

    huhu. semua org cuti, i was at Outward Bound Lumut. Maen laut (kayak and whailing). Huhu.

  5. huhu…best gak kan kalau autopilot?
    tapi kalau lah sume benda leh autopilot, manusia akan jadi makhluk paling malas kat muka bumi… 😀

  6. An incompetent driver will definitely need the ESP. or a car with so much horse under the hood. but for a car with 200hp, I dont think I need it. Besides, its front wheel.

    It also involves racing line. With ESP on, I’ll miss a few lines, in which, makes the passenger dizzier.

    The whole thing about ESP is purely about weight shifting. If you understand racing, or play a lot of GT3 (PS game), you’ll know how to late brake and make the car turn in your favor.

    *On other note, Jeremy Clarkson did mention how turning off ESP makes any car fun.

  7. wah..lepas baca ni baru tau aku dah ketinggalan jauh dalam berita-berita industri automobil…teknologi dah canggih yer sekarang..dunia dah maju…huhu

  8. yeah man, actually the ESP is for the sake of the driver’s safety. If I were you, I would also turn off the ESP. Who wants to spoil the fun of the horsepower under the hood of the car. Hehe. It’s like being kick by a horse!!! haha~

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