NoktahHitam is my alter ego. I am a nocturnal Web Developer at 
I just got back from a funeral. Still tired, feeling a little blue and a packet of tissue awaits every tear on my cheek.
She was a hero to me. During my days in Kuala Kangsar, she used to drop by and give me advises that I don’t really want to listen to. What can you expect, I was a healthy teenager who wanted to have fun more than anything else (I was a home-sicko too)
She was a fighter, outspoken, brave and transparent. I wish I could spend more time with her – NoktahHitam
During our gathering on festive season, she would sneak up to me and pull my leg. You know la, makcik-makcik, they like to brag about their kids or make fun of younger generations. I always hated that. But in my case, she always defended me. God knows what her reason was. Amongst the things she said during those days were,
“Ewin ni bukan bodoh sangat, die cuma malas je.”
I was a snob and I know competing with Malaysia’s best mind is a waste of effort. Thanks to her, I finally made it to top 50 in my Form 3, and maintained in that region throughout my MCKK days. Mind you, my ranking in Form 1 & 2 was always top ten, from the behind. (We have a total of 118 student).
Hmmm, it’s dreadful writing about the past. *sigh* I’m missing her 
She was a stage 4 breast cancer patient, in short, waiting for her time. I visited her numerous times. I always belief, a small gesture like touching would cheer her up. But I couldn’t, she said it’s too painful. Her skin was pale, rough and as good as dead, caused by her chemotherapy session. Anyhow, I always find her hand in mine when I sat next to her bed.
In her final days, she was having difficulties talking. What comes out was more of her breath than voice. I had to put my ear close to her lips and be a little imaginative to understand what she said. Her last words to me was,
“Get married before I go”.
I’m sorry. I couldn’t fulfill that wish. Al-fatihah
ps: God it hurts inside, I’m sure it’s unbearable for her family
pss: She passed away on 17th April 2008, 7:20 am leaving 4 kids and her husband. She is my mom’s cousin. Also my junior’s mother. May she be rested close to His side. Amin.
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