Sorry Not Too Late, Happy Father’s Day

Dad, I despise you and your expectation with all my might.

To you, being no 2 in class is not good enough. I have to be numero uno. Failing to do so, will end up being caned. To date, I lost count on how many lashes landed on my body.

To you, secondary at boarding school means a lot. I was more of mom’s boy and I prefer to stay at home. But you expect me to be independent. I did, just so you’d acknowledge my bravery. But you didn’t.

To you, not playing sports is equal to a faggot. So I played hockey, but it meant nothing to you. I took on rugby and played at state level, just so you’d acknowledge my manhood. But you didn’t.

To you, architecture is a slow evolving industry and engineering is far superior. I’ve always wanted to be an architect, since I was 5. So I ditched my passion and pursued your path, hoping for you to see that I am an obedient son. But you didn’t.

Everything I do, I could never meet your expectations. Even if I did, you never gave me a pat on the back and say “Well done son”. It was all that I longed for.

Time and time, you humiliated me in public with your sarcastic low blow remarks. You wanted people to see how close we are. I swallowed my pride and laugh, although deep down I’m torn to pieces.

But what I failed to see, was, all this while, you worked very hard, not for yourself, but for me to inherit your virtues. For me to have a better future. For me to be tough enough to face the world. Being a perfectionist, you wanted the best, that includes your sons.

So Dad, this is my humble apology. I am sorry.

I’m sorry for being mad at you for all my life. I know, it’s not my place to be angry at a person who paved gold roads for me. You’d rather be hated than see me crash and burn, such a selfless act. Now I understand what those expectations were there for.

Thank you and Happy Belated Father’s Day.

If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be on my way to become a Kick Ass Web Developer.

ps: I hope my dad doesn’t read this!

pss: Thank you Hana, for knocking some senses. Have a safe trip back to Eire. Thank you Bong, for your youtube mellow genre. Thank you Aween, for listening.

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