Pergaduhan di Lebuh Raya NPE Kerana 80 sen

Topic biar hangat bak Kosmo!

Anyway, while on the way meeting my boys for lunch at G-Tower Jalan Tun Razak, I took the NPE route from Subang Jaya. It wasn’t the best path considering that I will be entering from Sg. Besi which means smaller lanes and gaps between cars, but it’s the fastest. 20-30 minutes ride from Subang Jaya to KL. 30 Kilometer ada kot.

I am not too familiar with NPE on motorbikes, but with car, I know which lane to stick to for smart tag, touch and go or cash. With my bike, I wasn’t really sure when would be the right time to bear left.

NPE-jaga-kurang-hajar

Like always, doing 90-100 kmh on the most right lane, I accidentally missed the lane for bikes. Gile la kalau nak pancung semua kereta dan lori. So I headed straight to the toll booth, hoping that I could slide my fat ass between the cones and toll gate. There stood a man with a baton in his hand, bercekak pinggang sambil menjerit, “PUSING BALIK!”. Teringat scene Gandalf, “You shall not pass!” Rambut dah sama putih, kulit je kene salin skit.

I yelled back, “Mana boleh pusing balik. Banyak kereta.”

Weaving his baton back and forth, he yelled again,”Pusing balik! Lu jangan kurang ajar. Kasi pusing balik”. He called for backup, another guard yg duduk bawah kanopi. Both of them yelled at me, “You pusing balik!”.

I asked myself, is this for real? These 60 years old plus guards, think they can take down a man with full face helmet, knuckled gloves and padded jacket that can withstand 80 kmh impact. They’re not kidding me, but themselves.

I thought again and again. I came to 3 simple solutions.

  1. Langgar je pak guard tu, confirm barai.
  2. Turun, cakap elok-elok atau terus bertumbuk.
  3. Pusing balik.

I was convinced that the third option is the most hassle free. I don’t want to hit an old man, nor have blood on my bike. But going wrong way for 200 meters will be the hardest/stupid thing to do. Ini macam paksa manusia lain berhenti makan nasi ikut mulut. Makan ikut bontot. Ini kerja GILA!

I reconsidered my options. These guards could really use a warm up and so do I.

I prompted, “kalau saya bayar tol?”

Both the guard jalan balik ke tempat duduk masing-masing, pretended nothing happened. I asked the lady at the toll booth how much will this cost me. LAPAN PULUH SEN! 80 sen sahaja. Imagine kalau paper Kosmo atau Harian Metro keluar title, Dipukul Rempit Kerana 80 sen!

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