I have 2 cousins, both sharing the same age, fate and marital status with me. That makes us the trio.

While witnessing ‘the vows‘, an older cousin (who’s married) squeezed his way to the front, right next to me.  He asked the forbidden question every single people hates,”Bile hang nak kawen?”

I took the rebuke with a smile.

“Takkan takde girlfriend kot?”

Continue Reading…

This story is rather long, so I’ve decided to break it into smaller parts for easy digestion.

It was that time of year again, where families from all over Malaysian find themselves back in their home town to attend a wedding. Of course I had no other choice.

We arrived safely the day before the wedding, just in time to help out. Our duties wasn’t specific but involves heavy lifting and hard labor since we’re not gifted to fold flowers etc. By ‘our’, I mean the ‘boys’, unmarried aged 20 and above.

We didn’t have much to do at first, since tents were already up. We loiter around the lobby, playing with PA system. (I’ve always loved to imitate Pilot’s greeting and latest, Joker’s laugh). We had all sorts of fun, joking around.

Our laughs didn’t last long, we were ordered to take out garbage, deliver meat, do some wiring, hang curtains etc. It was no brainer tasks.

When night falls, we were forced to shower at one of auntie’s to-let house since we weren’t allocated any room.

It was dark, we had problem finding right the key. Eventually, we climbed the gate. A, who weighs 130kg climbed too and broke a papaya tree in the process. What’s funny is, he only used one hand. I can’t imagine being in a fight with him. He could just sit on me and I’ll tap myself out.

Somewhere around 9 pm, the groom recites his vow. It took him 5 times. If it wasn’t for some pakcik, who was overly concern about technicalities, pitching tone, grammar and what ever shit, he could’ve done it once.

*Saje je nak nyusahkan orang.*

I hope when it’s my turn, no silly pakcik would say “tak sah“. Else expect a flipped car, socks in mouth and choking sensation when sleeping.

ps: Next up, the Three Stooges.

pss: To the couple, good luck!

psss: Would somebody care to shoot this bugger?

I plan on writing the wedding I helped and bitched a thing or two. But I guess that’ll wait until I’m back doing my jumping jacks, in style.

Until then, have fun reading other blogs.

Yg demam tak pasal-pasal (not because of H1N1),
NH.

ps: “When is your turn..?”, you’ll have to wait for my sarcastic answer.

pss: Oh yes, I changed my About page, again.

This will be going against my true nature of keeping my thoughts to myself.

The day before the European clash, a blogger posted an entry on how Manchester United will win. I wouldn’t mind that kind of post, it shows support. But what disgust me most is how he belittled other teams. Not enough, he even starts name calling. Chelshit, Liverfool etc.

First things first, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO MANCHESTER? How is Manchester related to you? Can you point on the map where Manchester is? To be an absofuckinlutely fan, first you must have some sense of belonging. If you can’t see the connection, then shut the fuck up.

Second, WHO ARE YOU TO TRASH OTHER TEAMS? Do you even know how to kick a ball? Have you ever run 10x football field everyday? Do you even exercise? Ah, you only know how to play winning eleven. Unless you know the technical know-how, I recommend you shut the bloody hell up.

Third, MANCHESTER UNITED FANS LIKE YOU SPOILS THE GAME. My circle of friends loves Man Utd, but they don’t talk down other teams. In fact, they have the same kind of respect for other teams. Some even intimidated. But no matter how superior Man Utd is, they’d remain humble. It’s purely professional.

Forth, YOU PROVOKE PEOPLE YET YOU DELETE COMMENTS. That’s how the line goes. I know I have done the same to you. It was because of your desperate attempt to gain traffic by using ‘Gadis Lonely’ nick. So let me ask you, where’s your dick? Do you have one? Don’t provoke people if you haven’t got a ball.

Thanks to Barcelona, the team stunned you with their brilliant play.

So let this be a lesson for you. Do not trash talk if your balls isn’t polished. A blind supporter like you will spoil the beauty of the game. With that I rest my case.

ps: I have no idea why I have to let this off my chest.

My younger cousin is getting married tomorrow. Everyone will be back in kampung by then. So will I.

I’m pretty sure the same old question of ‘when’ will be asked. Since I’m practically old enough to get married and have kids.

Not to worry, this old dog has a few untested tricks up his sleeve. I can’t wait to bombard my pakciks & makciks and see them burst in flames.

Wait, I’m not supposed to be enjoying this!

I guess after a while, I’ve eventually turn it into a game. Beats me, it wasn’t me who waged the war. I’m just here to counter those threats. We’ll see how it goes. If it’s appropriate, will land those stories here.

****

Congratulations to Khalid on becoming a father. It was really nice to see you cheerful as ever. For a moment there, I envied you.

Like ‘I’ pointed out, we’re 3 steps behind Khalid. Finding, Marrying and Getting.

ps: Eh? Man Utd lost? Seriously? I thought they’re the true champion? Was I wrong? Oh wait, I watched the match? Hahaha. What I meant to say is, padan muke! Riak lagi, sape suruh!