It was Friday night out with the guys and some brought along their better halves, I was no exception. She sits and talks intently, while I remained focus on the road.

“You better call P, we need to know where they are..”, I asked her to do the chore using my phone. If you’re attending a surprise birthday party, you should tippy toe your way in and be cautious not to let the birthday boy spot you.

“P, where are you?”, she asked him.

“I’m at bla bla…”  tooot …  the phone call dropped as we dove into the tunnel.

In the mixed dark and neon lights, she asked, “how do I redial?”

“That’s easy, just say RE-DIAL”. I instructed her.

“RE-DIAL!” she said it loud and clear.

I could no longer hold my breathe, I burst into laughter. I laughed so hard that I actually cried, trying to hard to hold my tummy together. I forgot how she reacted, but I do remember her full-of-shame-face. Poor girl. ily

ps: We prank each other a lot

Girl: I miss my little sister.
NH: Where is she?
Girl: She went for umrah along with the whole family.
NH: When she gets back, ROGOL her.
Girl: WTF?

I don’t deny that most of us (from my secondary school) exaggerate adjectives and nouns. It makes it more dramatic and appealing. Adding more color to emphasize the sentence. Another classic example,

C*LANAT SEDAP GILE ICE CREAM NI!

But then again, some might misinterpret. And by rogol, I mean wrestle. Not stick something in her. I guess it’s only safe to use it among ourselves (among my secondary school mates).

ps: Why do I keep forgetting to write about my badminton racquet?

It was Friday night, the start of the weekend. A short trip to golf and karaoke for me.

There was A, F, N, P and K at the karaoke. After screaming our emotions and unloading mental stress (that has been accumulated throughout the whole week), we find ourselves rejoicing our throat at a mamak stall nearby. Everyone looked tired and worn out. It was a great 3 hour session.

As we sat, P called the mamak to clean up the table and get our orders. No one entertained P. Poor P.

Soon, F called upon the mamak. He came and took our orders but didn’t clean up.

N, called for clean up. No response.

A, reminded them to clean up. Nada action.

After 10-15 minutes, the mamak delivered our drinks but have yet to clean up our table. By then, I was already done with my char keow teoy. Four efforts was done to get the mamak moving, sadly. It came to my turn to lube some gears. Ehem ehem, as I clear my throat.

HOI! TAKKAN NAK SERVE ATAS MEJE KOTOR? BERSIHKAN LAH!

Serves them right for being unhygienic.

ps: I define myself as collected and generally calm. I will always try to maintain polite no matter what. But sometimes, I need to address it differently. Hence the yelling.

pss: Have you heard what happened to my badminton racquet?

The other day AR shared her scary nightmare. She dreamed that there’s a break in her area. The next day, her dad called and told her to be careful. Apparently her dad was informed that there’s a break in around their area.

Tonight, as I got back home from rugby, I was told there was a burglary that took place 10 minutes before I reached home and it happened right in front of my house! I guess AR’s nightmare was pretty much like a warning.

Anyway, I sat down with mom and discussed what to do if she ever encountered such incident. From my criminal mind and all the Hollywood stints I’ve watched, I came up with this.

1. Never fight back. It’s not worth risking your life/ health over a few hundred or maybe thousand ringgit.
2. Don’t use weapon to fight. They might get yours and knock you with it.
3. Check your surroundings. It’s part of a ninja training, but it applies when you want to get out of the car to open the gate.
4. Stay in the car. No matter what, stay in the car. And make sure it’s locked.
5. Run them over. If they block the road, make sure you floor the pedal!
6. Inform the police immediately. I don’t think this is hard to do.
7. Don’t negotiate. They want to do it as quiet, quick and clean as possible. So if you try to say anything, they’ll probably knock you.
8. Finally, again, never fight back. Give whatever they want.

If I ever get into this situation, I’ll probably try to catch them, tie them to the neighborhood sign board, naked. But I doubt I have the required skills nor physical to fight back. I’ll probably toss them all my wallet content and say,

“Nah… pergi main jauh jauh!”

ps: Just be careful!

This post is for adults or anyone who gets wedgies.

Recently I bought this Italian under wear. It was 50% off, plus I needed a few new pairs. But the problem with undies is you can’t go to the fitting room and try it on beforehand.

Because it was a steal (not a bargain), I bought it with an eye closed.

A few weeks gone by, it has been a few rotations already. But still I get wedgies. In fact, the only undies that gives me wedgies is the Italian one. Getting up from the chair, wedgie. Sitting down, wedgie. Ruku’, I get wedgie. Walk fast, wedgie. Move sideways, wedgie. Swinging a golf club, wedgie. Too much wedgies!

I have a feeling that Italian loves wedgies.

Speaking of undies, there’s one particular brand that I used to wear when I was in boarding school. Because I was irresponsible and kept losing it, I bought the cheapest on the line, RM10 for 3. It goes by the name of “Teko”.

Now, do me a favour, say “Teko” ten times as quickly as you can.

ps: What a cool name for underwear

pss: A wedgie occurs when a person’s underwear or other garments are wedged between the buttocks wikipedia