Alas A Dajjal Was Born

Emok told me about a circulating mail on Dajjal’s birth. At first I didn’t want to believe, but for the sake of curing my curiosity, I delved into my junk mails. (Luckily, gmail could sort this out for me)

The title reads, Sign of Dajjal in Israel.

Is this the Dajjal you speak off?

Fuck you, original author. I personally find this offensive.

For those who never knew online medical journos existed, the poor baby suffers Cyclopia, a congenital abnormality (birth defect) in which there is only one eye. Read medterms.com for more.

The term “DAJJAL” means “Imposter”, one who conceals the truth with falsehood, a “falsifier”, one who deceives, deludes, beguiles, circumvents, is very deceitful or a “great deceiver”. According to my readings, Dajjal is blind on his right eye something like a pirate (Wikipedia).

Attached to the mail was a long list of replied messages. Being me, I could never refrain myself from reading the stench remarks etched on the mail. One in particular, threw me off balance, “Kill the baby!”.

Are you stupid? The least you could do is Google it before throwing tantrums to that innocent child. It’s a pity, the child was hated before he could leave the cradle. I wonder how he’ll survive in this cruel world.

The next time you read a forwarded email, think twice before pushing them into other’s inbox. You could be spreading ill-intent notions.

Again, fuck you author.

ps: Don’t bother searching for Dajjal in the Quran, it’s not there.

pss: Weekends or weekdays, work is all I have. Thank you clients.

psss: Cyclopia don’t have nostril, how do they filter air? I guess they don’t.

pssss: Don’t reply my pss, I will delete your comment.

Another Poorly Crafted Tag Game

I don’t really enjoy the tagging game, partly because it’s a one way street. I tell you my darker secrets and you get to laugh. At times I think it’s mentally degrading. On second thought, WTH, it’s just a blog.

Tagged by Titan

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
I’d probably ask her why. If she can’t, then it’s time to rock another boat.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
For everyone in the world to plant 10 trees annually.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
Can I kick the groins instead? In that case, it’d be Superman. I’m sure other than kryptonite, his ‘ehem’ is his other weakness.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
I’ll give it back the ones who deserved it. I don’t need a billion dollar and be a lazy ass.

5. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend?
Most likely to happen. Unfortunately, my besties are guys.

(more…)

Attention Seekers, Beware

This post requires deep thinking, read it when free or skip the whole thing.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeking attention, but every thing has it’s limit.

Imagine an overly exposed dress-to-kill girl. She deserves every eyeball on the floor, with the boys going OoOoh and the girls going boo. She puts a lot of effort, wasting every puff of her compact powder, lip stick and slaps on the same dress she wore last Friday night. The least we (boys) could do is sink our eyes to show some gratitude.

Whether the girl loves the attention or not, that’s not our fault. She’s the one seeking attention, we’re just giving what she wanted. And yet, we’re being stigmatize as womanizers. WTH?

Similarly in this virtual world, we can see a lot more attention seekers. Best example would be NuffNang Innit. Gosh, what’s with the detestable titles? That’s just an example, what about other blogs?

In any case, aren’t you ashamed if your kins found out about your blog? Worst, starts talking on how shallow you are, even if you strongly believe in what you wrote.

I know, the chances of them finding out is close to zero, especially if your parents always yelled for you to connect the Wifi.

I’d like to remind you, shit happens.

One day, you’ll be parents, aunties, uncles, grandpas, grandmas, big boss, chairman, CEO, managing director etc. You certainly would have a problem earning respects, if you were petty to begin with.

Blogging is a short lived ecstacy, so put more thoughts before clicking the Publish button. Also apply in the real world.

ps: To buy or not to buy.. an uber geeky MacBook Pro.

pss: To buy or not to buy.. an insanely fast super bike.

psss: To buy or not to buy.. a stupid PDA phone.

pssss: Between needs and desire, they’re all desire. Scrapppp!

Logo Contest at SembangKomputer

For those of you (malay lingual blogger) who have extra time in hand, you might want to consider contributing your wealth of knowledge in computing at SembangKomputer. Just like the owner, it’s ads free.

Few months ago, MK ran a logo contest. Procrastinating as always, I failed to make the 13th October deadline. Since the contest is already on, I guess my logo will be nothing more than a scrap on the internet.

So here’s my logo.

Clean, minimalist and innocent, argh! It doesn’t feel like me.

That certainly took the load of my chest, evil computer from hell  

Computers are from hell. It makes the day feels shorter, it stresses you when it’s not working and burn a whole in your wallet if you need an upgrade.

Like a girl, you can’t live with or without computer.

ps: Diarrhea + Fever + Headache + Super busy, I could never ask for a better timing.

pss: Tomorrow’s the last fasting day for Puasa 6.

Am I Fat ? How To Correctly Answer

Girls cannot refrain themselves from asking this typical question. Often, when addressed to a guy, it’d be a definitive death wish. You answer wrongly, you get a pinch. You answer correct, you get an excessive compulsion(berleter). Either way, you are doomed. So how you do answer correctly?

I’m the type of guy who holds strongly to my stand. “Be honest, no matter how much it’ll hurt”. Although I have to say, this isn’t an admirable logic to hang on to, it does saves me from the trouble of listening to unnecessary nag.You don’t believe me? Ok, I’ll give you some answers I’ve tried.

Girl R: Am I fat?
NoktahHitam: No-lah, ok ok only.
Girl R: Oh really? I was thinking of loosing weight. And you know with all this open house ..bla bla bla.. (I lost her there)

That’s what you get for playing safe, a big fat nag. Seriously girl, if you want to lose weight, bring bottled water to open houses. Excuse yourself from food tasting, it can be addictive.

Girl J: Do you think I’m fat?
NoktahHitam: No. You looked thinner.
Girl J: Really? I’m on this new product call XxX, it helps shave some fat while .. bla bla bla.. I also go to gym .. bla (not interested.. ok?)

That’s what you get for sucking up. I said “thinner” because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Turns out, she’s hurting mine by pushing her Multi Level products.

Girl T: Do you think I’m fat?
NoktahHitam: Yes you are.
Girl T: It’s about time I go back to gym. You see, I don’t have time after work .. bla bla .. (please, I’m not your blog)

Being honest hurts too, especially if you don’t know how to deviate the answer.

What you can do is be brutally honest. It’ll likely to stun them, or at least enough for them to change the topic. So how do I answer?

Girl Z: Do you think I’m fat?
NoktahHitam: Of course you are. You look like a cow in tights.
Girl Z: You’re mean!
NoktahHitam: Obviously. Thanks for asking.

Being me, I’m always cruel in my own ways

If you can’t answer, remember your standard 1 class banner, “Silence is Golden” or you can fake an epilepsy, just make sure there aren’t any doctors around (unless cute ones).

ps: I guess it depends on what the girl wants to hear.

pss: Girls, don’t ask boys how you look like, because we use Jessica Alba, Elisha Cuthbert and Marie Digby as our benchmark.

psss: Open houses ends this week! Horray~ I will write why I hate them.

Demam, Pening And Busy

I could never ask for a better timing. Thank god, it’s holiday.

I will be kicking asses once I clear this hurdle. Till then, read the previous posts, reply to comments, send me fan black mails or listen to my tape.

Get well Eddie, get well.

ps: I’m burning hot

pss: I know I am!

psss: Don’t tell me to take my pills and drink a lot of water, it’s not my first time getting a fever.

pssss: To that special someone, thanks, but no thanks. I’m not interested in a relationship. Save your confession for someone else.

Doctor In The Rain

So there you are,
Trenched in your white coat,
Waiting by the roadside,
Faithfully waiting for the rain to subside.

So here I am,
A canned coffee in my hand,
Sitting side by side,
Eagerly waiting for the rain to subside.

So there you are,
An umbrella in your hand,
You could easily walk to the taxi stand,
Yet you waited for the sun that’ll never shine.

So here I am,
Walking back and forth,
Pondering my doubts and worries,
When is grandma going to finish?

So there you are,
Looking at the dark grey sky,
Asking the reasons why.

So here I am,
Gasping for every reasons why,
Why the hell am I so shy.

A car came and parked,
She ran and caught her ride,
I squirmed my eyes to improve my sight,
I saw her husband’s inside.

And so I smiled,
Answering my questions why,
I guess it’s one of those days,
One of those unheard Autumn goodbye.

Bye doctor!

ps: Wondering, is this poem season? mating season? cuz everyone seems to be writing one.

pss: I write poem much quicker than a normal post.

psss: Too many open houses to attend. Next will be mine, hopefully.