Let It Slide

I’m saving all the serious post for later. I’ve already outlined the main points. Just haven’t got the “speret”[1. “speret” is a a localized term for “team spirit” used by budak MCKK,Β  but also can used as “semangat”] to do it.

To some, I may be a headstrong and hard headed person. I could easily outdo myself anytime I like. But in reality, that’s just wrong, those are just barriers I put up to protect myself. I’m sure in many ways, you have your guards up too.

empire-down.jpg

Ego or Wicked? The tune has been playing on my mind for quite sometime.

I’m starting to think what I write here is to feed my ego more than my wicked thoughts. Which defeats the whole purpose of writing this blog. Although it’s hard to admit, I’m just like any blogger out there, an attention whore. [2. Generally speaking. But it’s nice to know docs-to-be reads my rambling mind]

I’ve mellowed to bits. I got so lost in myself, that I’m unsure of what lies underneath this skin. It’s hard being someone you’re not, especially if you know yourself, you’re not really that nice.

I’ve also noticed that my performance isn’t getting anywhere but south. Hence the tantrums I’ve been throwing at people lately. I guess I’m just mad, at what or who remains a question mark.

Like my best bud would say,”Ed, let it slide.”

It’s not my nature to quit when the going gets tough, but once in a while, raising a white flag isn’t so bad after all.

ps: I’m sorry to those who dealt with me during my hard times. I didn’t mean knock you over and a can of whoopass.

pss: At times like these, I wish I’m cheerful and making stupid jokes, like always. I guess adulthood did alter my life.

NoktahHitam

I am web developer, who's main concern is to save the trees. Nonetheless

This Post Has 21 Comments

  1. elok jugak dlm kesibukan, kita bermuhasabah diri ..
    speret sket bro! :up:

  2. We love attentions. We try to be nice, because that conforms to the norm. We try to be wicked, because somehow that can be perceived as cool. We love contradictions. Ego? Without ego, what is a person? As long as it is in control, by all means, be an egoist. Friends are there to watch over you.

    ps: lawa shiet the little trooper! πŸ˜›

  3. mamat yang berani dalam dunia cyber blm tentu berani dlm dunia realiti..wicked personality..split personality..did we tend do be someone else in front of the pc..

  4. i ve found out that writing is comforting. (for me).

    getting attention? it’s a plus.

  5. It is comforting, before you start getting attention. Once you do, you’ll start to have expectations for yourself.

  6. That depends on many factors. Nowadays, I usually cower into the conversation. Let people talk. I just listen.

  7. Lame tak wicked la bro. Don’t know how to get there now. But in weeks to come, I hope I can pickup the momentum.

  8. Setiap malam (or pagi) before tido, aku bermuhasabah.

  9. Okay already. But I need to do manual postings for the old posts. So don’t be surprised to see sudden influx of posts coming in your Google Reader πŸ˜›

    ps: See your ‘Recently Read’, I hogged few posts there lol

  10. ah, damage is done?

  11. most importantly, it’s understanding how important it is to host yourself before you can host others….

  12. i couldn’t agree more.
    then the tense will grow. and it’s not that comforting anymore. huh.
    anyway, just hope that we could get with it.

  13. hmm…I never thought I would become a blogger initially and I only used the account to comment on my school friends’ blogs…when I actually started blogging, none of those around me noticed that the blog is no longer hibernating, but now that everyone has become aware of that I feel that I can’t just write what I want…when I’m mad at something or someone I wished I could spill everything on my own blog without anyone around me knowing, but it’s not possible anymore…

  14. I know, it’s no longer fun to bitch about something online anymore.

  15. To be honest i don’t give a damn what you write as long they’re cleverly put and beautifully presented. 99% of the internet are craps anyway. Ego or soft, who says there’s a rule. People are not here to meet mr. nice guy, people don’t watch House because he’s suspiciously gay in so many ways, people just love drama. Keep it unreal. ta

  16. love yr writing.ignore those who will make u fall apart. Appreciate those who give u the strength to hold you from falling apart again.

    New Friend,
    Honeydy

  17. attention whore.

    that really hit me hard,
    cause it’s the term i’ve been looking for,
    to describe me..

  18. πŸ˜• wah sesi bermuhasabah disini…

  19. food or battle?

  20. Love that Lego Star Trooper. That is Lego, right?

    IMHO, I don’t think anyone would blog to get unnoticed. So technically, bloggers are attention whores, well, maybe just a little.

    Don’t feel bad about being one, though. At least your blog isn’t senseless, and it definitely is worthy of all the attention. πŸ™‚

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