I swear, the next time anyone who comes to me and say “dah bukan jodoh“, I’m going to fuck their brains out (provided they have one).
Jodoh is overated.
It takes two consensual people to start a relationship. They have to like each other and explore the dark possibilities. Down the road it might be tough. That’s why you have each other, to pull each other from slumps and break the obstacles ahead.
I am discarding the Greater power on this matter. Whilst it’s true it’s up to Him, but it’s also up to us to make something happen. The only card we can play is ‘Tawakkal’, after we’ve tried our best.
Sorry is just an excuse to fail.
I know I am the better man and an alpha male. It’s only natural to find someone who’s lesser of both. I would pretty much like to be relied on and serve my purpose as a living being. And that is amongst the reason I want a doctor, a delicate soul whom I can protect when she’s on the brink of self destruct. She’d save many lives down the road, so for a change let me save hers.
I’ve been keeping my cools together for so many years. I’ve tolerated and fought countless battles. I always find myself letting others win. I am tired of being a nice guy. I want to take what’s rightfully mine, even if it means beating an old lady with a stick.
If you’re wondering whether this was written in an angry tone. Yes it was. I gave my heart and there’s no room to feel nor empathy for anyone other than myself. Selfish? Very much yes.
Am I bashing her? Now, wouldn’t it be stupid to bang someone you admire? If there’s anyone who needs a bashing, it would be me for letting myself fall deep into something I’m unsure off. For allowing me to follow my gut instinct, when it’s unsafe. For being so fucked up, that I can’t get anything done properly.
I know I am going to regret writing this. But what the hell. It’s my feelings.
ps: Welcome back NH. I missed you, very very much.