“A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.”- Abraham Lincoln

Family Talk Offends Me

Reminder for NH: When you become a father, you will avoid these one-sided talks.. AT ALL COST!

Talk 1

Mom: When are you getting married?
NH: Relax..
Mom: My friend’s daughter is an architect at Hijaz Architect
NH: … (signalling do I look like I care mom?)
Mom: You want to marry a doctor, it’ll probably take time.

Well mom, it’ my preference to wed a doctor. Don’t shove leftovers (no pun intended) on my plate. I have many ambitions. Let me accomplish them first and we’ll talk about marriage later ok? Besides, how am I supposed to take care of someone if I can’t even manage myself?

Oh and mom, I’m not desperate ok.

Talk 2

Dad: Why not an architect?
NH: Because I’d be jealous day in day out. (I wanted to be become an architect)
Dad: You could do it now. Back then I was so independent. I came home and showed my dad I got a degree in Engineering. (boasting)
NH: … (me making weird faces, dunno, dont want to listen)
Dad: As soon as I completed my final paper, I reported to work the following Monday.

Dad, did you forget that you wanted or rather forced me to undertake engineering. I could’ve retaliate if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to upset you and so I spent 4 years doing something I dislike. I brought home a stupid scroll, which I don’t know which drawer I kept it.

Speak of the devil, so you want to compare your first 25-years of accomplishments to mine? Ok, let’s do the best 7!

  1. I wrote my first tender (100% by me) when I was 19 and won the contract. Where were you?
  2. I started my professional career at the age of 21, where were you?
  3. I ran my own company at the age of 22, where were you?
  4. I’ve met so many CEO’s at the age of 24, where were you?
  5. I was so good at technical writing, I was hired as a consultant at 24, where were you?
  6. I was offered a 5 digit salary as an engineer at the age of 23 (but I declined, I don’t want to be an engineer), where were you?
  7. By the age of 23, I secured a total of 20Mil worth of projects, where were you?
  8. Optional consideration: And I’m not 25 yet!

So NH, let me remind you, don’t be a jerk and boast like hell. He/She (your kids) could be better than you in every aspect.

Till then, stupid family self promoting talks annoys me.

ps: Ahh.. finally I could take something off my chest, feels good!

15 August '08 | Family, Personal | Fave it! | Go to Comment Form

1

nufeww wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 12:45 am

Wow! Although my first 25-years of accomplishments are not so damn good like that…. :shock: I still love my life and proud of what I have done…. :cool:

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NoktahHitam replied on
August 15, 2008 at 12:59 am

same here nufeww. I’m proud of chasing my own passion.

this is between me and dad, nothing more.

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2

aeropama dot com wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 12:56 am

Mine compare to you NH:

No 1. I’ve done it when i was 18 :grin:
No 2. Still studying in university and acquiring a few sub-contracts at the same time. :grin:
No 3. I have my own company too. skrg terkubur… prefer to be a servant first rather than a boss. sudah byk kali kena tipu :cry: skrg kerja sambil belajar mengurus dgn cara yg betul
No 4. I’ve met a few CEO too… just for a cup of tea and asking for their advices…
No 5. I’m still learning… I considered myself as not good as you are… :sad:
No 6. I’m 25 but my salary still 4 digits :sad:
No 7. U are totally rawks NH :shock: I can’t compete with you. The best project i secured was a RM25k worth of project. :mrgreen:

ps: i totally salute you NH

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NoktahHitam replied on
August 15, 2008 at 1:04 am

Dont be so modest.

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3

aeropama dot com wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 1:01 am

aku pun megalami dilema mcm kau. sedara mara tuk nenek makcik pakcik sume tanya aku bila nak kahwin? duit dh ada tp tak kahwin. sampai bila nak membujang?

aku benci dgn mentaliti masyarakat kita. bila sampai certain age, mesti kena kahwin. pls lah. byk menda yg aku plan aku blom dapat capai lagi. aku tak mahu impian aku tergadai semata-mata krn seorang perempuan bernama isteri yg inginkan perhatian suaminya sepanjang masa. lebih baik aku kumpul duit sebanyak mungkin selagi aku muda.

btw, aku masih belum boleh berdiri sama tinggi dan duduk sama rendah dgn NH.

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4

kidd wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 1:38 am

it’s good to let out those bad air trapped in your chest, but orang tua2 niatnya hanya satu, nak tgk anak depa pulak bina keluarga.when their sons/daughters grew up, all those cute laughters and cries dissipates into thin air, leaving them with awful silence.senang cerita la bro, depa nak tgk cucu lah.

crossed the above mentioned if kalau abg hang sudah kawin.it renders my point useless.

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NoktahHitam replied on
August 15, 2008 at 1:57 am

anak abang aku could share the same birthday as me :roll:

We all know, parent wants best for their kids. But the way they forgo of ‘nasihat’ can’t be duly justified. It’s rude and demotivating.

I need a moral support, like, ‘it’s ok, one day, you’ll have what you yearned for’ .. something like that, susah sgt ke?

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5

|1f34|-|1r3 wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 5:36 am

compared to me..1 to 7..i can’t beat any of them..in fact..aku kalah tanpa bertanding pon on some points.. :cry:

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atreyu strange replied on
August 15, 2008 at 9:58 am

LOL. Same here. Xmo bertanding, bley?

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melbie replied on
August 15, 2008 at 2:35 pm

aku lagi teruk.. hahahha! Much older than NH but I don’t see any achievement in front of me … :cry: takyah nak compare langsung dah kalah flat …

But I’m lucky, I don’t this kind of talk from my parents.. :up: and that’s all that matters.. orang lain, biar nenek, biar makcik pakcik.. aku tak kisah.. lantak koranglah.. mak bapak aku yang besarkan aku pun tak tanya.. orang lain pula nak memandai-mandai mengurus hal aku hehehe

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6

megat wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 7:31 am

luahkan. dapat mengurangkan stress yang ada hu3.

aku pernah menjadi usahawan yang berjaya. projek juta-juta dalam usia yang muda. tetapi banyak sangat karenah dan putar alam. sbbkan aku masih muda maka aku gagal dalam bab putar alam.

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7

mlle linie wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 9:07 am

leks eddie. they are just concerned abt u je.. take their advice in a pinch of salt if u think u are doing better..

and kalau nak ikut hukum kahwin pun tgk pada keadaan kan?

kalau nak berkawin dan mampu - sunat. kalau takde keinginan (i.e. bole tahan nafsu) dan mampu - harus. and there’s also wajib and haram cases which u know lah kan..

unless u r in the wajib category, i think u should be doing just fine lah beb…

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8

mlle linie wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 9:07 am

ustazah lah pulak aku ni pepagi jumaat…

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9

UZiX wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 10:10 am

that was some good achievements bro. i am nowhere near u.i am just an ordinary salaryman with 4 digits income.maybe u can delegate some million ringgit projects to me so i have some points to brag to my future kids. hehe.

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10

anakecil wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 12:23 pm

great achievements there.

btw an acrhtct as a future wife ok pe. haha

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11

abdusfauzi wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 2:38 pm

:neutral: (so cool~)

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12

bongkersz wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 3:32 pm

Family talks annoyed me too, especially the boasting/comparing talks. ‘You know who and who’s son/daughter bla bla’ well you know the rest.

I can’t even compare shit with those achievements man :) I am far behind. :neutral: Way to go! :up: :up:

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13

suke hujan wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 4:38 pm

cool~ love ur dad more, k :XO:

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14

crime_genius86 wrote on
August 15, 2008 at 11:22 pm

:up:

nice post dude.. u are really great…

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15

taukey wrote on
August 16, 2008 at 10:46 am

hmm…your achievement is excellent. It reminds me about one of my friends. hehehe. It happens to everybody and considering that you aren’t 25 yet, i think you have the right to retaliate about it. :grin:

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16

xmindfreakx wrote on
August 16, 2008 at 12:47 pm

excellent achievement NH..cant compete it right now.But by 40, i hope we equal for the achievement..buawhahhaha

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17

M-I-N wrote on
August 16, 2008 at 3:40 pm

……….
………..

*cakap dalam hati*”damn,he’s good” :up:

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saffa replied on
August 17, 2008 at 11:16 am

ya! U rawk.. senang jer kalau nak pikat Doc dengan semua achievement tu kan?

Not 25 yet? Get married when u r 25! (ikut sunnah nabi) :grin:

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18

nono wrote on
August 16, 2008 at 5:37 pm

oh my god! you have a lot of things to be proud of! :???:

your children must be proud of you nanti.. and yes, you are VERY qualified to marry a doctor!

saya sokong kamu.. and insha allah you’ll find her! *amin*

kamu sgt sgt alpha male! caya la… saya adore kamu! :XO:

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NoktahHitam replied on
August 17, 2008 at 2:20 am

I’ve told you before, alpha male tu baboon buntut merah. The red-er, the better.

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nono replied on
August 17, 2008 at 3:44 pm

:?: waaa.. kamu buat saya sakit otak la..

19

titan wrote on
August 16, 2008 at 8:35 pm

ko ni. biar betui weh.. :smile:

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NoktahHitam replied on
August 17, 2008 at 2:22 am

up to you to decide :smile:

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20

Bengbeng wrote on
August 17, 2008 at 9:57 am

for a man and a woman to come together is very easy. think back of arranged marriages decades ago. but now in this new era we want only the best for ourselves and indeed we have a right to demand such as we can only make one marriage proposal. it is after sleeping together for example 40 years and looking at our partner next to us, do we really realize the meaning of marriage.

dont know wats wrong with me i make such a weird comment :) but my marriage seems to b going stronger by the year. parents viewpoints are sometimes more objective than we think.

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21

skis wrote on
August 17, 2008 at 10:05 am

Well sweetheart, it’s parents things. They always want the best for you.

Tell me, is your case worse than those young guys yang dah tergedik-gedik nak kahwin, but their parents refuse to let them get what they want?

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NoktahHitam replied on
August 17, 2008 at 2:38 pm

darling, it’s the case of being pushy. I want to MARRY ONCE. It’s a lifelong decision and you know better. Hence, I have to really, really, really love spending time with my wife. It’s not about looks, but I do hope she don’t look like Lion King when she wakes up in the morning.

They want the best for me, but do they need to brag? Im 25 for heavens sake, I know what the F I’m doing. I think they’re trying to say NO to my passion, in a lower key of course.

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skis replied on
August 19, 2008 at 11:02 am

Agreed. But the thing is, as I said earlier, its a parent thing. They talk to you, they advise you, accordingly to what they have been through, and what they see these days. Might be useful and might be not, as the lived in a different era as ours.

My parents got married when both of them aged 22 and 23. Of course they will advise me to do so, since through their experience, athough they married at such a young age, the benefits came far later, when their age number is lower than 50, they already have 2 sons aged 25 and 24 and already gaining so much more than average Malaysian gets monthly ( boasting a bit haha).

Basically, your points are good. So are theirs (your parents). It’s just a matter of justification and execution. I agree that 25 can be considered as young to be married. But to some people, you should already at least expecting your first baby at that age.

Bragging is exactly improper I believe, but for particular circumstance, it is actually good. I thought. No intention of offending.

22

ika wrote on
August 18, 2008 at 2:10 pm

sy terpaksa belajar apa yang saya tak minat dalam masa 6 tahun lagi..
adussss… :sad: :cry:
i want to be an architect but i’ve to take engineering because my dad want me to take that…
sangat malang….
(me now study without vision and mission. can i? haha)
:???:

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NoktahHitam replied on
August 18, 2008 at 5:31 pm

it’d be tough to score, but to scrape through, boleh je

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23

Jehan Bakar wrote on
August 18, 2008 at 5:28 pm

Don’t give in to their pressure to get married.

I did, and 10 years down the line I’m a divorcee with 2 kids.

Marry only when you’re absolutely sure that you want to. Don’t marry a woman because you want to live with her, but marry a woman who you can’t live without. (double negative here!)

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NoktahHitam replied on
August 18, 2008 at 5:34 pm

I’m so sorry to hear that.

Double negative is the best solution in engineering. Especially when there’s a gridlock in some formula :smile:

I want to marry someone who’d make a good mother too

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24

MK wrote on
August 19, 2008 at 9:33 pm

i’ll beat you, NH! in all the 7 accomplishment.
optional number 8: i’ll get married first :grin:

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NoktahHitam replied on
August 19, 2008 at 9:46 pm

even if you beat me with ‘get married first’, i’m considered kalah already

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