Kinda Awesome When Someone Knows You

It’s kinda awesome when someone recognizes you. It’s flattering but borderline creepy.

Because they know you, but hardly have any clue who are they.

I just hope I don’t leave a bad impression if I ever met any of you in person.

ps: I don’t know how celebrities deal with this.

 

Slowly Not Updating the Blog

There’s very little excuse for me to not update the blog. The gist is, I’ve always use NH as my negativity pool.

You see, when you have two kids, a wife and a business, shitty things happen on daily basis. As much as possible I want to be in the positive side. NH is definitely not that outlet. But having said that, I don’t want to delete all my posts (it’s my life’s work).

One day, I’d come back and reread the blog. I know how much I grew. But until then, don’t really expect much from this blog.

You can also check out my vlogs at Youtube : Let’s Go Ed

And my instagram account: NoktahHitam

ps: I’m thankful for all the friends I’ve met over the years through this blog. It has been really helpful.
pps: Maybe I can slowly erase the negativity by updating more positive posts? Hahaha

The Birth of #AmiraEdwin

Aisyah was getting Braxton Hicks every now and then, for a few days already. Equipped with additional knowledge from Gentle Birthing, and first hand knowledge giving birth to Sara, we didn’t panic. We waited for the right time.

Aisyah wanted a squatting position, which not many hospital or clinic offers as the doctors say, “it will make my work harder”. We went to several clinics and hospitals prior to the due date, until we found one in Gombak, Gombak Medical Center. It’s her body, she can choose however way befitting her.

On 27th Jan 2016, Aisyah went by herself to do a medical check up. She was strong enough to drive from Shah Alam to Gombak KL. In the evening, she told me the BH was getting intense. We waited out for a while and until the traffic subsided. We left Shah Alam at 8pm after kissing our first born good night. She was confused, but she seems to get the idea.

We arrived about 40 mins later, I floored the Axia as hard as I can in between the surges. This wasn’t the first time driving to the ‘Medical Center’, so it was easy. We were then sent to our room and started unpacking our stuffs.

Around 9.15pm, we called to check on the opening, it was already 9.5 cm. We were directed to the OT. The room was small to say the lease but it was ok. Aisyah resumed the position she wanted, squatting. For the record, squatting was a traditional method of giving birth, even the Ministry of Health endorsed it (but never really practised it). I guess not many were strong enough to squat for hours.

It didn’t take long to see the ring of fire. I saw the baby’s hair. The nurses and docs were in and out of the room, chatty as always. The surges were 5 minutes apart, Aisyah went rogue, pulling everything in her face, including my hair.

Alhamdulillah, after 1 hour of battle, Amira was born. She fell on the bed, head first and it was only Aisyah and me in the room. I called for the doc and nurses. They were happy, I guess they did have to do anything much to do. The tearing was minor but still requires stitching. I did the call for prayers to Amira. She’s a fit baby, 10 mins out of the womb, she tried to roll.

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Around 10.30pm, we were sent to our room. We did have a little accident, where Aisyah tried to shower and passed out midway. I had to carry her back to the bed. Blood were all over the floor, yeahhh,  it was bloody slippery.

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Once things have settled down, I sat down and flashed back everything that happened that day. I can’t believe it, I’m a father of two. I tried to fell in love with Amira like I did with Sara, but it didn’t happened. It felt more like a responsibility than unconditional love.

When we got home everyone was elated by Amira’s presence. Everybody wanted a piece of her and we were happy to outsource the dirty works.

Initially, her name is Alayna. It means Princess (Spanish). However, being the pro Arabs like most Malays are, Alayna means “on top of you”. That sounded like the Thai horror movie, “The Shutter”. We went through our notes again, finding the right name. Alas, we settled for Amira. It means ‘leader’ or ‘royal’. It had a good ring to it and it resonated quickly with the family.

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Sara on the other hand, started throwing tantrums, knowing that she’s no longer the attention of the family. She cried often, yelled, throwing things and eventually I had scold her for doing so. It was heartbreaking, I felt like a bad parent but she needed it. The thing with Sara, she’s 2 years and 6 months old, but speaks like a 3-4 year old. It was hard to think she’s still a toddler.

Fast forward to today (2 months since birth), I can finally say, thank God everything went well. And my love for Amira has grown each passing day. I no longer felt I had to share the love between Sara and Amira. Sara has also grown out of her jealousy, she loves her sister.

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A New Beginning (sort of)

It’s been a while since I wrote anything here. The last post was in December. I guess I just didnt have any appetite since then.

I started NH out curiosity and soon it was used to remind myself, what I was like when I was young. Boy, I sure have grown a lot over the past few years.

So what’s up with me now?

First, I got fired (konon drama) from a company I’ve been nothing but loyal to for the past 6 years. In their defense, it was a method to get the ‘right sizing’, what ever that means. It came with a good compensation, so I’m good (at least for now). I was going to resign anyway, so with the right package, and the right timing, the push and pull factor was just too hard to resist.

However I do regret about the things I didn’t get to realize. I had a dream for the company, I was in a position to help the nation and build a better world. Unfortunately, the dream wasn’t reciprocated. It was easy to spot me like a left wing party when all my intentions were noble. What could be right for me, might not be right to others.

Despite that, I am thankful of the experienced I gained, friendship and partnership formed.

Secondly, my family. Aisyah is with a kid and Sara has been nothing but a happy girl, living up to her name. Sara has been fighting to keep the lights up, which is troubling when you know she’s sleepy but decided not to give in. My mom told me, that was my trait.

Third, business. I’ve loads of ideas to be executed. The problem with a well lid mind is, there’s a lot of thinking, less of doing. So if nothing is moving, how can I ever move a mountain? Some basic life principle has to be altered like, ‘Work smart, not hard’. I’ve seen people whom just bulldoze everything in their way (definitely lack of decision making) and it worked for them. In fact most of them are successful in their own terms, which is good.

Over the past few years, I’ve learned a few tricks to reduce the over thinking and more of doing. It starts off with listing everything you want to, making sure it’s broken down to granular and actionable level. This definitely helped me with my procrastination.

Business is great but can be better. I was able to achieve yearly sales target within a quarter. All thanks to The Almighty, He decides whats mine and yours. The formula is simple, give all you can, that includes efforts when volunteering, making sure your customers are happy, staying up late to get a pixel perfect design and yara-yara. It sounds simple, because it is, we humans tend to overthink.

Forth, friendship. I realized, getting married sure shackled me to the bed, then we had a kid. I was jolted to the ground. I didnt want to miss my kids growth, it only happen once. Now I’m free during working hours, I was able to revisit my old customer, rekindled a friendship and be acquinted to new awesome people. I tend to keep myself away from negativity.

Fifth, the world. The hell with it. I read enough just to keep informed. I do not meddle and be bothered to investigate in great detail. Implementing the ‘whatever’ sure brought me more happiness. I do puzzle over the recent statements made by the minister, did they bump their head or just drank ants?

I guess that’s it for now.

Ps: I’ve decided to address my future self rather than you (the readers).

Selling My Apple Macbook Air 11

I am letting go of my Macbook 11 inch for RM 1800 (negotiable) because I rarely use it and already have a Macbook 13.

The Macbook 11 was normally used to present during meetings with customer, play movie during vacation and primarily for mobility. Most of my work happens on the iMac and Asus Laptop, rarely used for heavy duty stuff.

It’s in mint condition and I’ve got to say it’s not exactly light and very sturdy aluminum exterior. There’s a few scuffed at the edges and bottom, and some buttons are shiny other than that, it’s close to brand new. Included, home made case (have been washed) and Case Logic sling bag.

Price is highly negotiable, I really want people to benefit from using it. Continue reading “Selling My Apple Macbook Air 11”