Breakfast With Grandpa

20 years ago, my grand dad drives me to small cafe close to our home town for breakfast. Yesterday, I drove him. I guess time has changed 

As usual, he’d spread that ‘Berita Harian’ wide open, slowly sipping his thick black coffee. I asked for the comic section. Somethings, never change   

After he’s done scanning all the headlines, he folded the news paper neatly and tucked it under my car key. He asked,”what do you want to be?” “Huh?” I replied. He rephrased,”when are you getting married?”   (more…)

The Thing About You, Mama

If it wasn’t for you,
I’d still be floating in the darkness of your womb.
I’d still be crawling, blocking people’s way.
I’d still be standing still, not moving forward.
I’d still be walking the same path I know.
I’d still be running away from my problems.
I’d still be driving recklessly, crashing everyone I see.

If it wasn’t for you,
I wouldn’t know how to see, what’s right or wrong.
I wouldn’t know how to speak, and touch other’s life.
I wouldn’t know how to listen, and be self centered.
I wouldn’t know how to think, and be an eye sore.

If I was never your son,
I’m sure you’d be happy, not to have a troubled son like me.
I’m sure I’d be stuck on the 2nd line of this post.
I’m sure my room is a lot messier.
I’m sure your cooking is awful.
I’m sure I’d fall for you.

If it wasn’t for you,
I wouldn’t know what it feels like to be loved.

Thank you Ma, for EVERY single thing you have done for me. I assure you, I will not go to waste.

ps: 11th May, Mothers day! Have you wished your mom?

pss: a box of chocolate = RM 12, a dozen roses = RM 100, a gold ring = RM 1550, a poem + cheapskate son = priceless.

Note to Ma : of course on your card, I wrote you a different poem!

I’m an Asshole

Yesterday, I beat my youngest brother.

I haven’t had my sleep more than 48 hours. Of course, I’m restless and tired. My youngest brother, walked up to me as said, ‘Send me to tuition! I’m ready and only waiting for you to send me!’

I changed my outfit, got the keys and started the engine. It’s been 5 minutes, he hasn’t come out yet. I got back in and saw that he was still looking for his book. I shoved him, hard enough to fall. He cried.

2 things, first; don’t facebook ¹ with my timing. Second; be rude.

I’m an ASSHOLE but I did send him to tuition.

ps: I’m sorry bro. Violence is never my way of solving things. Yesterday, I snapped.

1. Refer to my lingo page ↩

4 Minutes To Save the World

This has very little connection with Madonna’s latest single, featuring JT.

Let me pop the question, if you were given 4 minutes to save the world, how would you do it?

For a start, I work from home, please envy me! I get to see my youngest brother everyday when he got off from school. Among the things that we do is, sharpen his math skills. He did tell me he wanted to be a scientist, and math comes in close relation with Science.

5x + 8y = 60, y=5, what is the value of x? (answer: x = 4)

or much harder question like

2x + y = 4, x + y =2, find x & y (answer: y=0, x=2)

That’s considerably tough for a 10 year old. But I managed to find a way to capture his interest. It comes to a point where he said, ‘Abg ¹, I had enough for today’. Often I ask him to do one last question before wrapping up. Since bribing ice cream doesn’t work anymore, I offer him ‘4 minutes to save the world’. He gladly took up my offer.

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1. Abg: abang; a common calling for elder brother ↩

Nasi Putih, Kicap dan Telur Goreng

sorry no relevant picture nor did I capture any

Mom is away on a business trip while dad is performing his umrah. I’m now ‘the man’ in the house.

I came home a bit late today. So late that my youngest brother had to cook the rice beforehand.

NoktahHitam : How did the rice go?
Youngest Bro : Easy
NoktahHitam : What kind of dish we’ll be having?
Youngest Bro : Non
NoktahHitam : Ok, I’ll cook

It was close to 8:30 pm. I’m hungry. I’m grumpy. I want to eat. I need to fix something fast.

*Tada* White rice, soy sauce and fried egg.

ps: If only he could skip school and play with me all day, it’ll be SUPER!

pss: It’s been ages since I had today’s menu, God it was AWESOME

NH’s quote: Intelligent people simplifies complexity, fools complicate the simple.

Howling for Help, Neighborhood Watch

It was exactly 1.00am. I was in my house doing my paperwork for tomorrow’s meeting. I heard a girl’s voice crying for help. She was howling and yelling, a mixture of both. It sounded like

Tolong, arghhhhh, tolong arghhhh, arghhhh, wooooo, arrrghhh, tolong… tolong, arghhhh!

I took my broken golf shaft and ran to my front lawn. My neighbor got out of his house when he saw me wandering on the orange-lighted streets.

NoktahHitam: Did you hear that?
My Neighbor: Yes. I did. I got up because of that sound
NoktahHitam: It sounded like someone is being raped
My Neighbor: Let’s do some roundings

We made 2-3 rounds, we couldn’t find anything.

NoktahHitam: It’s ok. Go have your rest. Let me do some night walking
My Neighbor: Just shout when you see anything strange

I walked and walked for almost an hour but I couldn’t find anything. I did chase a few stray dogs though.

My assumptions

1. Someone is treating hysteria - logical, the howling makes sense
2. Someone was raped - logical, it does sound like one
3. Someone was kidnapped - it would be quick and quiet
4. Some house was robbed - no way, the robber must’ve tied them up
5. Someone was watching porn on Dolby THX -no way, I know the sound of porn

So what was it?

Long ago, we had a neighborhood watch program. We each have to take turn but the program was later dissolved. Nothing really happened in our area other than millions of mosquito bites. I think we need to re-enact the program.

ps: I swear to God you can kill me if I’m making this up

pss: I don’t suppose another rape victim in my housing area?

psss: I feel like a hostel warden

pssss: I swore an oath to myself, to be a caring and loving citizen of humanity. I will do my best with these 2 hands

The House Helper Who Swept Under the Rug

Our house has a helper, she comes every week to spring clean the house. From toilets to living room, she’ll clean everything

I am always disgusted with the term ‘maid’ and the maid who lives at any house to carry out simple house chores. I love my privacy (so does my family). It’s very hard to accept a stranger living under one roof. I am no God to be served 24 hours a day

Last week, the house helper dropped my shaver. It broke into two pieces. I used a masking tape to put them together. I told her to be EXTRA careful with my stuff and never, never clean my work desk no matter how dirty or messy it was

Today, I couldn’t find my shaver. I think she threw it away, after all, it looked chummy and faulty (when it actually runs out of battery)

Now I have an excuse to grow a mustache and a goatee. What a bummer

ps: Bernard is the name that always popped out in my head when ever I see someone with beard. Ben + Beard = Bernard

pss: Like Einstein, I am messy (my work area) but I have my own system, so does he

psss: I think she felt guilty for breaking my shaver. So she ’swept under the rug’.