I don’t normally respond to these comments very well when they first told me. I’d just brush them off my shoulder denying such things would be true. I bet they’re lining up now to tell me, “I told you so!”

Before wedding, my weight was about 70-71kg, now hovering 74-75kg. How is that in size? Imagine a brick of butter, that’s only 250 g. So if I gained 4 kilos, that’d be like 8 bricks of fatty butter dangling on my body like packs of C4s. And that’s within a month.

There are many factors I believe contributing to these excessive fat.

1. Change of routine. I normally sleep for 6 hours, now 8. I no longer take the stairs (home) as frequent as I used to. Maybe because I’m shy, and I certainly do not want to go downstairs wearing shorts.

2. Change of diet. I don’t take breakfast, now I do. I have lunch at office like usual. I do dinner at 8-9pm, now 6-7pm. I snack a lot when in shopping malls. I still eat junk food like I normally do.

3. Exercise. I normally chase after my niece and nephews, now nothing to chase. I hit the golf driving range as often as I could, now only twice after I got married. I jogged once a week at least, now once a month.

4. Meals. This is the most sinful of all, home cook meals. The goal in my house is to finish everything, and normally it isn’t that much. But Ummi’s case, she cooks a lot and she enjoys it. So I tend to eat up as much as possible. Also because it’s delicious!

I’ve asked around for opinions, some say it’s because of sex. But I don’t think it’s true. I mean you’re burning calories, how can you gain weight at the same time? I don’t know. These are all theories, they’re not an accurate assumption.

Woman gain weight after marriage, men after divorce.

How true? Mat Salleh clearly have a different observation about weight gain. Also, husband gets the wife everything, for Malay, wife does everything even washing your feet (definitely not mine)!

I’m now watching my calories, trying hard not to exceed daily necessities. My father in law also got me a walk-o-meter to count my daily steps. Oh well, I have no one to blame other than myself. Now, let’s lose weight before my turn to change the entire garment.

Now the real preparation begins. I need to clear my room, making way for the bride to move in. There’s always that discomfort feeling when throwing old stuff, it’s like breaking away from the fondest memories left behind. I guess its necessary to pave the future. Let’s just hope everything is fine and I don’t accidentally throw my brothers belonging.

With both my brothers (and their family) celebrating the festive Raya at their in-laws, looks I’ll be celebrating alone. Oh well, part of the gist of life.

ps: Writing review for Galaxy Tab 10.1 is pretty demanding.

In the second sleep I had a nightmare that was scarier than any ghost, Freddy Krueger, Zombies, or Joker combined. I dreamed the passing of my mother.

There she was, laid on the floor covered in white cloth. The room was packed with people yet so silent. The four of us brothers comforted our wives and dad was left standing by door. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t, I had to be strong for dad. I’m sure my brothers felt the same way too.

The death was too sudden, she had no illness, no accident, it was just her time.

It was the gloomiest nightmare ever. I woke up covered in sweat and tears. I didn’t want to call mom immediately, I was still traumatized. I took some time to digest, “ok Ed, this is the real world. Mama is still alive.”

Two days passed, that nightmare left quite a scar. It got me thinking, if she passed away, what would be the thing I would miss most? The constant nagging? The long winded conversation? The advises? No. None of that really matters anymore. If any, the easiest for me to remember is her serene smile.

So today I went out and got her something that isn’t exactly within my reach, it’s more like a pain in the neck. But I’d prefer to suffer now than later.

As I walked into the house, she asks, I thought you already got a handbag for your wedding prep? I smiled. She could tell easily tell from the labels of the paper bag. Slowly I walked to her and handed her the bag. Is this a shoe? She asked? Mom, I have no idea what’s your size.

Carefully she opened the paper bag. Layers upon layers of wrappers laid a bag. She lifted it up, panning it side to side, rotating it to make sure it’s the real thing. She smiled from ear to ear. It was exactly what I wanted to see and I felt so relieved knowing that my mom is still here with me.

My mom is very careful when it comes to spending. No matter how much money I gave her, she’d never buy a designer’s bag. She’d probably keep the money for our future sake. She’s such a traditional woman.

Tonight, someone will sleep dreaming of when to use the bag, while the other thinks of how he’s going to fund for it. It doesn’t matter, as long as I saw my mom’s smile and I loved it very dearly.

I guess it’s about time you pick up your phone and give your mom a call. It doesn’t have to be Mother’s Day or her birthday, just pick up the phone and call your mom before it’s too late.

I LOVE YOU Ma, please don’t give me creepy nightmares again.

- Love Your Son, NH.

The other day we had take outs from Saba Restaurant at Jelatek. Not only we had to do a round trip due to wrong order, we did not receive any apology from non-speaking-snobbish-Arab owner. Kalau bakar kedai ko, baru ko tau camne nak nangis. That’s a bloody round trip ok! Anyway, the rambling aside.

We sat as a family and it felt like ages since everyone circled the table of 6. Excluding my eldest brother, who is undergoing training at Penang, there was 7 adults, 1 toddler and 2 infants. The noise was amazing and annoying sometimes. But having put up with my niece and nephews a while, you kinda get used to the idea of shouting kids etc. Sometimes I screamed too just to prove a point.

Like most lavish family, we had leftovers. I’d like to think that everyone was on diet. So mom looked at me and asked if I wanted to do my round of DBKL.

“Tapema, consolidate sume, patu sipan“.

Mom looked at me, squirming her forehead. I knew she couldn’t catch what I said. So I repeated like a broken CD.

“Tak pe ma, consolidate semua lepas itu simpan“.

“Consolidate tu ape?”

Have you ever worked so hard, that office language BECAME your adaptive language? The term consolidate was used mostly for proposals, not leftovers. So I explained to mom what I meant.

“Kenape tak pakai ‘simpan’ ? “. Smart mom, so proud of you

ps: Aisyah have problems too when I speak like a train.

pps: It’s a classic case of time efficiency gone bad.

One from my younger brother, that’s his first child. Born on 22nd of October, coincidentally share the same birth date with his cousin. This little fighter’s name is ‘Azeem.

Another one was born today, my eldest brother’s second child. It was a surprise since the doc couldn’t figure out whether its a boy or girl. No name yet (macam pendekar tanpa nama).

There’s also a possibility that I’ll get married before Ramadhan next year. Sure meriah gile kampung! (both picture will be uploaded.. when I get the chance to snap them)

ps: Pokai la Pak Ngah kasi duit raya. Hahahha

I was told by my cousin to enter the competition, depicting my cutest niece, Adriana Batrisyia. She thinks, Adriana Batrisyia has a fair chance to win, especially this picture. Being the ‘ohh-whatever-kinda-guy’ I duly submit to her request.

There are literally thousands of cute baby posted on the competition’s wall. I am not even sure that I’d go far with this, “cube try dulu” (redundant use of word, hahaha!).

Now, here’s the irony, I need your help to vote for the photo ONLY IF (one of the following)

1. You think she’s cute;
2. The composition of the photo is nice;
3. The photography technique is acceptable;
4. Lastly, did I capture the moment or not

You can go by going to facebook link and click like.

ps: I have a friend name Adrina, she’s quite the head turner

In a fancy restaurant, not so bright, not so dark and the ambiance screams fine dining. Ignoring the crowds, the guy gets down on his knee, focused on what he rehearsed every night since a month ago. As he gather his guts, he slips his hand into his pocket and pulled out a red box. Everything was as perfect as he’d imagined.

Slowly, he opened the box.

Sparkles fled and filled the air, lights came dashing out piercing through the walls, luminating every dark corners of the restaurant. The linearity of time stops as all eyes focused on the ‘star’. He presented to her, a token of love, a band that’ll hold them together, today and so forth, a ring.

She looked at him and then the ring, alternating the two, speechless and awed.

He took one final deep breath, thinking it for the very last time. Flashing through every memory he had about any girl, including the posters on his wall and all the Bond girls he liked. He questioned himself, will he be a good husband and father? Can he cater all her needs and necessities? Will he offer her a solitary comfort and safety? Ultimately, through thick and thin of life?

He realized, he’s been asking himself those questions a long time ago. The answer lies within the beautiful person properly seated in front of him. The one that everyone calls “the One”. He blinked, making sure it’s not a dream. He asked what he wanted to ask. He couldn’t have done it any better.

As tears build up, she held his hand. Softly, she replied.

* * * *

So what did he asked and what did she replied? Leave a comment!

ps: We got our wedding ring last Saturday! Wohoo!

Grandma is doing well. Granddad, well, not so considering he’s in his 70′s. He tends to forget whether he prayed or not, so most of the time, he doubled it. And he’s always laying down, which makes it hard to lay eyes on him. Someone who used to be very strong and determined, now, flat on his back.

While heading out to Ramadhan Bazar, I asked grandma whether she’d want some delicacies for iftar. She gave me this list that I had to memorized, which was easy actually. Then I asked Wan (grand dad), what he wanted since he was listening to our conversation.

“Wan, ewin nak pergi pasar, nak pesan tak?”

He gestured a kueh,”bagi Wan.. alaa ape name ni.. ”

“Apam balik? ” I asked.

“Bukan! Ala mende kecik tu..” emphasizing his gesture.

“Ohh.. tepung pelita?” I asked again.

“Bukan!”, he denied.

“Kueh puteri lilin, karipap, murtabak, bendere, lapis, gulung, pau goreng, gule melake ..” I spoiled him with a long list of Malay delicacies.

“Bukann…! Ala.. mende kad kad tu, utk handphone” he replied.

“Ohhhh! Top up!” I guessed.

“Haaa.. betul la tu!”

“Maxis, Digi, Celcom?” I asked again.

“Maxis kot”

I had a premonition he’s going to be wrong, so I rushed into his room and got his mobile phone. It said, Celcom.

It’s this tiny detail that makes me miss my grandparents. I wish I could spend all day long, loitering their living room and talk about everything there is to talk about. After all, they won’t be around forever. It’s ok, I have 2 weeks off a month from now. Until then, let’s prepare a long list of questions!

ps: Sembahyang 8 ke 20? Next topic to share

So mom started to indicate me on the intrinsic ways to my brothers new home. I roughly have some idea where it’s located, but unsure the exact place. I bet Garmin can solve this guidance issue. My youngest brother than hijacked the conversation, wanting his share of thoughts about the new place.

“Ewin tahu, rumah tu ade dua (2) perabot?”

I looked at him, filled with amazement and confusion. I asked again, “2 Perabot?”

“A’ah.. 2 perabot!”

On second note, I started doubting my Malays, what is a perabot anyway? As I recall it’s furniture, you know, chairs, tables, dining sets, beds etc.

“Bukan 2 perabot la, 2 seti!” mom ended my vigorously processing thoughts.

Adoi, perabot and seti, how can he be confused of the two words when he’s in Form 2? More over, why did I doubt myself? Cute, but he’s a teenager, so cute no longer fits the picture. But then again, who cares, he is my baby bro.

Imaging this sentence in Malay, “di bulan puasa, seronok juga kalau dapat baring atas PERABOT sambil menonton TV“. Can I pass SPM? Right, I don’t think so.

ps: Schools over, doesn’t mean I have to stop learning.

The common question was, should I get a ring? What should I bring? Who else should I invite? What do I need to wear? Answer;

1. Depends on the girl’s family. Mostly yes.
2. Something sweet, Ferrero Rocher can never be wrong.
3. Direct family, father, mother & siblings
4. Smart casual would suffice.

Anyway, I successfully had mine. Both family seems to be getting along just fine. It turns out, my mom’s cousin was Aisyah’s neighbor. What a small world.

We left home about 2.42 pm. It took dad 25 minutes from Keramat to Sect 7 Shah Alam, no surprise, he’s a speed demon too but generally, I’d say he’s ashamed of being late (it’s a family thing, being on time.)

Now that this is done, I need to buckle up and save for the wedding. Generally I’m happy, but I have to admit, I am freaked out a bit. I mean… I’m getting hitched? Yeah I know, wtf kan? Like all the advises I got, just go with the flow. And so I am.

I guess eventually, I have to shutdown this emo blog as the feeling slowly subsides.

ps: Did you know the gold price is RM 143 per gram? Gile mahal!

pss: Thank you for your wishes

Every time I look at you, I long for your touch. The sharp edges of your body, the fumes you left, the snaring sound, the breath-taking experience, the oh-so-good rush , you left quite an impression to this goatee-d boy.

I think about you, I look you up, I even googled you. Yes, I am your fond stalker.

But I can’t have you.

I can’t let you snuggle between me and my lover. I’d hate to make an impossible decision of owning you. I’d have to starve just to keep you by my side. Not now, not at this critical time.

I bet you’ll make me feel alive, pumping adrenaline through my veins, pulling every strain of hair left on my head. You were the one, I’d even lock you up in my room. Too bad, you’ll not be featured in the picture I’m painting.

This is good bye, this is it. I’m officially parting ways with my dream. Bye, for now.

ps: In case you’re wondering, I test drove an ER6-F today and it was awesome.

pss: Kumpul duit, pakcik nak kawen

Alololo kenape monyok sgt ni? *My super cute niece *

The temperature was a staggering 34°C. No one was comfortable with the surge of heat eloping us. Should we blame of global warming? But I read it’s a myth. Feel free to read about it here.

I was back in my home town for the parade to help with the preparations. It was busy and chaotic as usual despite the collective efforts several weddings in years before.

My younger bro arrived from Germany on the same day and drove all the way up North with his wife. I was anxiously waiting for his DSLR. Nonetheless, I’m glad he’s back but I find lots of gap between us. Well, it doesn’t really matter, the fact that he’s back is already good enough for me. Talk about missing a brother eh?

So, for your pleasure, some of the PROOF that I was in Penang.

“Awak cube tgk sane, ade monyet kat pokok tu!”

Bile cahaya keimanan cukup, cukup lah cahaya utk camera

I thought I was the only crazy guy to lay around and snap photos.

Under the hanging bridge. Wish they were amoi-s in mini skirts (just kidding ok!)

When asked why this photo, I replied, “In KL, we don’t get bullshit in this form”.

Of course, everyone worked really hard to ensure the successfulness of the event. But I personally think this cousin of mine threw a monstrous effort in keeping the spirit alive.

No, I wasn’t waiting for a reply from.. *ehem ehem* I was replying CNY wishes.

I hope this warrants all the talks about me not wanting to meet them during Chinese New Year. To all my Chinese friends, Selamat Tahun Baru Cina, semoga manyak Ong ini tahun

ps: Please stop about this comment of me not having a heart to love. I went through numerous break down last decade, so for once, Shut the F Up and just be happy for me. Ok?

pss: Some other pictures from my flickr gallery.

During my deep slumber I was awaken by a call. With an eye open and face on the pillow, I answered. “Hello?”

“Ayah, ayah kat mane?”

She sounded like a teenager. Still trying to mend the puzzles, I replied, “Ye..?”

“Anis ni, ayah kat mane? Ayah tak balik ke semalam?” she asked.

I got out of bed in shock, making sure I wasn’t dreaming nor sound sleepy when answering the call. I took a breathe and thought about it.

“Saya ada anak perempuan?” I replied.

“Alah, Anis ni ayah. Buat-buat tatau plak”

“Awak salah nombor ni. Saya kahwin pon belom lagi.”

“Ayah, janganlah main-main”

Seriously, it was a pure WTF moment. I wasn’t sure what to reply especially she insisted I am her father. So it’s best do I what I normally do in the office, role-playing.

“Ok, nanti pukul 2 Ayah balik, bye bye”.

“Hmm.. Anis tunggu tau. Ayah janji Ayah balik ok. Mak ckp die janji tak marah”

Whom ever the dad is, be sure to get your wrinkled ass home by 2 pm. And be ready to get a whopping from your wife!

ps: Tiring trip from JB. Thank God it’s an automatic. I couldn’t imagine driving manual car and being stuck in traffic for 1.5 hours.

When you’re down flat on your back, you want to write something, but instead you prioritize your sleep. For me, sleep comes first because feeling sleepy is not something that comes by easily. (The usual is 2 days awake, 1 day sleep.)

Thanks to Dr. KJL, he gave me 10 insomniac tablets.  Time to correct my biological clock people.

ps: Sorry Ain for not helping your puncture tyre. Thankfully everything went well.