Rescue Me Prince Charming?

lambatnye prince charming ku..

Congratulations to my younger bro. Finally engaged to this lovely girl.

Captions (from left to right, top to toe)

1. Ma, nak kawen!
2. Ok, gi beli kain songket.
3. Gi amek tepak sirih dlm store.
4. Jgn lupe withdraw duit sekali.
5. Fiance hang dah tunggu tu!
6. Ok, ok, kami dah sampai.
7. Sat, sat, take picture dulu.
8. Have to negotiate the …price?
9. Dgn ini, hang officially my in-laws-to-be
10. Bling-bling!
11. 100 dulang hati nyamuk… mcm puteri gunung ledang!
12. Pemenang hadiah sagu hati acara muke tak malu.
13. Balik KL balik .. bosan duk dlm kete.
14. Terowong,..! Hold your breath!
15. Oit, bangunlah, dah sampai rumah.

And that concludes our adventure to Alor Gajah.

ps: My first take on wedding photographing  

Family Talk Offends Me

Reminder for NH: When you become a father, you will avoid these one-sided talks.. AT ALL COST!

Talk 1

Mom: When are you getting married?
NH: Relax..
Mom: My friend’s daughter is an architect at Hijaz Architect
NH: … (signalling do I look like I care mom?)
Mom: You want to marry a doctor, it’ll probably take time.

Well mom, it’ my preference to wed a doctor. Don’t shove leftovers (no pun intended) on my plate. I have many ambitions. Let me accomplish them first and we’ll talk about marriage later ok? Besides, how am I supposed to take care of someone if I can’t even manage myself?

Oh and mom, I’m not desperate ok.

Talk 2

Dad: Why not an architect?
NH: Because I’d be jealous day in day out. (I wanted to be become an architect)
Dad: You could do it now. Back then I was so independent. I came home and showed my dad I got a degree in Engineering. (boasting)
NH: … (me making weird faces, dunno, dont want to listen)
Dad: As soon as I completed my final paper, I reported to work the following Monday.

Dad, did you forget that you wanted or rather forced me to undertake engineering. I could’ve retaliate if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to upset you and so I spent 4 years doing something I dislike. I brought home a stupid scroll, which I don’t know which drawer I kept it.

Speak of the devil, so you want to compare your first 25-years of accomplishments to mine? Ok, let’s do the best 7!

1. I wrote my first tender (100% by me) when I was 19 and won the contract. Where were you?
2. I started my professional career at the age of 21, where were you?
3. I ran my own company at the age of 22, where were you?
4. I’ve met so many CEO’s at the age of 24, where were you?
5. I was so good at technical writing, I was hired as a consultant at 24, where were you?
6. I was offered a 5 digit salary as an engineer at the age of 23 (but I declined, I don’t want to be an engineer), where were you?
7. By the age of 23, I secured a total of 20Mil worth of projects, where were you?
8. Optional consideration: And I’m not 25 yet!

So NH, let me remind you, don’t be a jerk and boast like hell. He/She (your kids) could be better than you in every aspect.

Till then, stupid family self promoting talks annoys me.

ps: Ahh.. finally I could take something off my chest, feels good!

My Nyayi, My Dear Grand Ma

I am a proud Javanese descendant. My dad was originally a Singaporean, so is my late grand dad and grand ma. “Nya - yee” it’s grand-ma in Javanese (or so I believe), something like nenek, tok or wan.

The story is, she’s staying at my house for the week and it puzzles her, what do I do for living? I’m always upstairs, never wore work attire and wake up late in the afternoon.

To her, modern work can only be in two forms, work for government or in construction business. She could never see beyond that. To make matters worst, she’s illiterate. So it’s always hard convincing a skeptical old woman.

I’ve wrote before how I fooled my tok wan on blogspot, I call that vengeance. This one is totally different.

Nyayi: What do you do for living?
NoktahHitam: I build web.
Nyayi: What is that?
NoktahHitam: It’s something you use on a computer.
Nyayi: What is a computer?
NoktahHitam: It’s like a tv, but you get to do many things with it.
Nyayi: So what do you do for living?

At this point, I’m not sure of how to explain to her anymore. It’s way beyond her comprehension and seriously, no pun intended.

NoktahHitam: I make pictures & I write letters and people pay me.
Nyayi: So the government pays you?
NoktahHitam: Nope. My client, shop owners…
Nyayi: Ohh.. your job must be easy then.
NoktahHitam: I guess so.
Nyayi: Why are you at home?
NoktahHitam: So you won’t be alone in the house.

Nyayi, you’re the sweetest lady in the house, hats off. I love you and missing you already (and that special someone).

ps: Please refrain yourself from mocking my grand ma. I’ll haunt you to death  

If Only I Could Turn Back Time

It’s 5am. I couldn’t sleep after some mental torture, gasping to meet datelines deadlines. I have meeting at 8am, I might as well stay up and blog.

I was tagged by AyUmi (again). I figured I should repay her before I forget. Anyway, the tag is, if I could turn back time, where will I be?

Back to 18 months old.

I had much fun back then. Mom would come back from work with a new set of jigsaw puzzle and a pack of Apollo snacks.

I had no worries. I had no dream. I had nothing to think about. I was stress-free.

I only sleep, eat, play and chase cockroaches crawling under that antic looking furniture. I remembered mom pulling them out of my hands.

Mom cleaned my craps, changed my diapers, rubbed my sore tummy, patted me to sleep, bought me toys, made my milks, taught me to listen, speak, walk, think, and most of all, loved me unconditionally. (more…)

Breakfast With Grandpa

20 years ago, my grand dad drives me to small cafe close to our home town for breakfast. Yesterday, I drove him. I guess time has changed 

As usual, he’d spread that ‘Berita Harian’ wide open, slowly sipping his thick black coffee. I asked for the comic section. Somethings, never change   

After he’s done scanning all the headlines, he folded the news paper neatly and tucked it under my car key. He asked,”what do you want to be?” “Huh?” I replied. He rephrased,”when are you getting married?”   (more…)

The Thing About You, Mama

If it wasn’t for you,
I’d still be floating in the darkness of your womb.
I’d still be crawling, blocking people’s way.
I’d still be standing still, not moving forward.
I’d still be walking the same path I know.
I’d still be running away from my problems.
I’d still be driving recklessly, crashing everyone I see.

If it wasn’t for you,
I wouldn’t know how to see, what’s right or wrong.
I wouldn’t know how to speak, and touch other’s life.
I wouldn’t know how to listen, and be self centered.
I wouldn’t know how to think, and be an eye sore.

If I was never your son,
I’m sure you’d be happy, not to have a troubled son like me.
I’m sure I’d be stuck on the 2nd line of this post.
I’m sure my room is a lot messier.
I’m sure your cooking is awful.
I’m sure I’d fall for you.

If it wasn’t for you,
I wouldn’t know what it feels like to be loved.

Thank you Ma, for EVERY single thing you have done for me. I assure you, I will not go to waste.

ps: 11th May, Mothers day! Have you wished your mom?

pss: a box of chocolate = RM 12, a dozen roses = RM 100, a gold ring = RM 1550, a poem + cheapskate son = priceless.

Note to Ma : of course on your card, I wrote you a different poem!

I’m an Asshole

Yesterday, I beat my youngest brother.

I haven’t had my sleep more than 48 hours. Of course, I’m restless and tired. My youngest brother, walked up to me as said, ‘Send me to tuition! I’m ready and only waiting for you to send me!’

I changed my outfit, got the keys and started the engine. It’s been 5 minutes, he hasn’t come out yet. I got back in and saw that he was still looking for his book. I shoved him, hard enough to fall. He cried.

2 things, first; don’t facebook ¹ with my timing. Second; be rude.

I’m an ASSHOLE but I did send him to tuition.

ps: I’m sorry bro. Violence is never my way of solving things. Yesterday, I snapped.

1. Refer to my lingo page ↩